The Official Writing Challenge
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This was extremely well written, very funny and contained an awesome message without being preachy. "Lawnmower engines are shut, kids are shuffled into minivans whether clothed or not, and adults run from the house waving dollar bills at a frenetic pace." This is one of several sentences I loved. You really "show" with your words. The audience can see everything! Great job.

05/19/06
Nice voice and humor throughout. Good message and good clear writing!
05/19/06
Reminds me of subway stations on a Friday night. The description was exceptional, and your two lessons excellent. Good work.
A vivid picture of desperate measures to achieve success. You painted this scene so richly, with humour and understanding and still got your message across.
05/20/06
You speak your message so clearly and articulately. I can visualize your words and take with me something I can hold on to. Definitely a Masterful work.
05/22/06
Wonderful! This one needs to be displayed somewhere as an exemplar of "How to Write a Teaching Piece without Preaching at Your Audience." What wit and charm! Loved it!
05/22/06
Hi. I really enjoyed this piece. You do have a typo in the paragraph about shopping the day after Thanksgiving. It should say "their" friends and family. Just thought you would want to know.
05/22/06
Isn't this the message of our times, though... get rich without any sweat on the brow. One tiny nit-pick... their for they're... and possibly you meant 'salivating and foaming?' Other than that, you painted a very vivid picture; I'm feeling jostled and pushed... and need a coffee!
05/22/06
So much for spellcheck and re-reading a gazillion times! Thanks for the corrections. It's greatly appreciated. Jo
Great fun and truth here. Brew your own coffee when the lottery jackpot is up...mental note taken! :)
Great story. I enjoyed the read, and the way it gave the lesson. As far as brew my own ... Luckily Starbucks doesn't sell lotto tickets. Great job.
05/22/06
Ah, Jo. I just realized how much I've missed reading your work. I'm so glad you made your way back. LOVED this entry - you always make me laugh and punch me out with a great message at the same time. Excellent writing. Stick around this time, would you? Geesh. :-)
Love, Lynda
05/22/06
Great humour with a great point. Well, done! (Although I pity all you folks living in the lands without Tim Hortons.)
05/23/06
'When the lady in blue showed her fangs and sneered, I convinced myself that purchasing a cup of coffee didn’t compare to staying alive.' Only one of many dear Jo! :)

Feels good to read your work again! :) Um ... how 'bout bein a regular for a change? This come and go as you please stuff is for the ... 'ladies in blue.' ;)

Always love the 'funny coated' messages JoJo.
05/23/06
Love it! Humor and a strong message right on target!
What a great way to deliver suc a powerful message. I loved it.
05/23/06
Is this another JoJo classic?!? Great job as always... it HAD to be yours. Too funny. You'll do well with this!
05/24/06
Funny take on prosperity. I enjoyed it!
05/24/06
The shift from present tense to past without a transition bothered me, but I know the intention. Good humor, well conceived.
I can see the scene EXACTLY. The desperation and misplaced hope is.....sad. Great visuals and descriptions!