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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Fulfillment (04/06/06)

TITLE: Fish Bones
By Jan Ackerson
04/08/06


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Hieu Nguyen hugs his knees to his chest on the cold floor of his cell, reciting the words of the sixty-third Psalm. Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you…my soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you…” His eyes close as he meditates on the Scripture that he loves—words that have sustained him for many weeks of captivity. When Hieu opens his eyes again, he sees only the bleak scenery of his Vietnamese jail: thin mattress, rusted and leaking toilet, windowless crumbling walls. A wooden bowl holds the remnants of yesterday’s sparse meal—a few grains of rice and some fish bones—and several buzzing flies.

Hugh Niven sits in a padded pew, his mind wandering as the pastor reads the sixty-third Psalm. At the words “richest of foods,” Hugh’s thoughts turn to last night’s meal. Patty’s salmon was overcooked, and the rice was mushy. A snort of disgust forms in his throat; he covers it with a cough as Patty glances sharply in his direction. Sunlight filters through the lovely stained glass windows.

Hieu is thankful for the American agricultural expert who befriended him last year. This bold Christian man introduced Hieu to his Savior, and now he ponders the cost of his newfound faith. He does not know if he will ever embrace his family again, nor if his small booth with sandals for sale in downtown Saigon still stands. Memories of his family occupy Hieu’s heart: little Anh’s snapping black eyes, the scrunched-up face that Tuan makes when the noodle soup has too many chilies, lovely Da’o, so like her namesake—peach blossom—soft and sweet. His breath catches in his chest, and he swallows hard with the realization that he has sacrificed the temporary for the eternal.

As the pastor begins to speak on “The Satisfied Soul” Hugh thinks of the profits his company made last year, selling trendy shoes to yuppies with wallets full of crisp bills. This was a banner year, but already the pressure is on him to sign up even more vendors next year. His work at the company headquarters keeps him from his family most evenings, and increasingly on weekends, but Hugh considers this a small sacrifice. Patty has become a shrew, and he hardly knows his children, anyway. A small furrow deepens between Hugh’s brows.

Footsteps approach from outside Hieu’s cell. A guard opens the door. His eyes are dead, and he thumps a large stick into the palm of his open hand. Hieu knows that he will soon be given another “opportunity” to deny his faith—or to pay the price. He struggles to his feet and follows the guard, whispering another Psalm as he limps down the dank corridor. Wait for the Lord, he tells his trembling spirit. Be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

In his spacious office suite, Hugh studies the peaks and valleys of his stock portfolio. He glances away from the computer at the sound of approaching footsteps. “Hey, Buddy, we’re taking Stern and Bellows for a working dinner. Don’t suppose you want to join us, though—they want to go to Hooters and tip back a few. That’s probably against your religion, right?” The men exchange scornful looks.

Hugh hesitates for a moment. “Uh, no, actually, that’s no problem.” He pushes away from his desk and joins the men in the hall.


The cell door opens, and Hieu stumbles inside, propelled by a rough shove from behind. He is broken and bleeding, but his spirit sings. He fulfills the desires of those who fear Him; He hears their cry and saves them. There is the clank of metal, the turning of a key, then silence. Hieu lies curled on his bloodstained mattress and sends up an offering of praise to his King, then murmurs a prayer for his wife and children. Peace and contentment well up in Hieu’s faithful heart.

Hugh stumbles through the darkened house, hoping not to disturb Patty’s sleep. She is still awake, though—waiting for him with reddened eyes. “Another late night? You’re never home any more…”

Hugh sits and cradles his forehead in his hands, his palms pressed into his aching eyes. He has nothing to say to Patty; he has said it all before, and the gnawing emptiness inside his soul has swallowed every word.

__________

Scriptures: Psalm 63:3 and 5, Psalm 27:14, Psalm 145:19 (NIV)


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This article has been read 1242 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Helen Murray04/13/06
Loved your "fish bones" article Jan. The parallel writing was great technique for comparing two vastly different attitudes. I was trying to work out whether Hugh Niven had ben Hieu Nguyen in the past, but I don't think so.

Best wishes for your writing.
Helen
Melanie Kerr 04/13/06
I think I have decided which man I would rather be! A great comparison.
Amy Michelle Wiley 04/13/06
Well done! Isn't it so true that we in free countries take our faith so lightly, and those who are persecuted for it understand truely how great faith is.

I think this would have been a tad less confusing if the two men's names were more different, but I figured it out quickly.

Great job!
Karri Compton04/13/06
Very touching. My only critique is that I don't think that the italics work for the second man's story. Maybe keep them for the Bible verse, but leave them out the rest of the time. It caused a read bump for me.
Great job!
God bless, Karri
Sharon Singley04/13/06
No confusion here - the parallel was impeccable. Very sobering and convicting story. I pray that if I'm ever put to the test, I would defend my faith as this gentleman did.
Pat Guy 04/13/06
Great paralles! It all works for me! And I felt the structure, and writing, of the piece was perfect! Great stuff!
L.M. Lee04/13/06
We have several "Nguyen" families in our area! Great folks!
Cassie Memmer04/14/06
Wonderful. No confusion here, great message for all of us 'spoiled' people. I really enjoyed this.
Helen Paynter04/14/06
I endorse all of the above positive comments. A story that needs telling. Thank you
Lynda Lee Schab 04/14/06
I loved this! Particularly the phrase, "His breath catches in his chest, and he swallows hard with the realization that he has sacrificed the temporary for the eternal." Wow - writing at its best. A sure contender.
Shelley Snyder04/14/06
What an excellent story this is! You did a fantastic job at writing in my opinion. I love the comparison of the two men; it shows just how "comfortable" we are in our society while people in other places are really put to the test.
Suzanne R04/15/06
Wow - the contrast between the two men was brilliantly executed. The Scripture passages about fulfilment were applied perfectly and the message came through loud and clear, yet the reader doesn't feel preached at. I love this piece.
Folakemi Emem-Akpan04/15/06
i really enjoyed this article even though i got confused initially because the names were too similar. Very great lesson though, that we can find fulfillment and happiness wherever we find ourselves and that no matter how much we have, real joy comes from within. Thanks for your message.
Marilyn Schnepp 04/15/06
Fulfillment? Hmmmmmm...perhaps it's in the scriptured footnotes. I did, however, read about faith, courage, two very opposite worlds, and a thoughtful lesson about freedom of religion that many of us take for granted; but fulfillment? Somehow it never came to mind...but then we laymen scrutinize the upperclassmen a little more because they are our Mentors. A well written story, however. Good job!
Lynda Schultz 04/15/06
This immediately brought a big "ouch" to my mind. I've been wallowing in a bath of self-pity lately and your piece was yet another reminder of how little I have to complain about. Great work.
Linda Germain 04/15/06
Wonderfully done! (I liked that the names were close). The struggle for fulfillment rests on each man's grasp of truth. There is no fulfillment when we operate under any guidelines not set forth by the Lord God.
Crista Darr04/16/06
Written with excellence! This is a powerful message for the church today. Very, very well done!
James Clem 04/17/06
The choosing of the names is purposefully intentional. I like it. This is another winner. Where is level 5 already?
Teri Wilson04/17/06
Jan... this was fabulous. You are such a wonderful writer with great range. You are my Faithwriter hero!

Garnet Miller 04/17/06
Wow what a comparison! One is dying for his faith while the other is denying it until he feels nothing at all. A well written story.
Debbie Sickler04/17/06
This was skillfully written, so I hesitate to comment, but I think I would have liked it even more if you had started with Hugh and then Hieu instead. That way, we would be left with the more satisfying life of Hieu in the end, rather than the empty feeling of Hugh's life. (but maybe that was the whole point. lol)Regardless, this was very well done. Great job. :)
Linda Watson Owen04/17/06
Great treatment of 'fulfillment'! Yes, God is the master of the paradox for sure, and you've used it here so effectively! Great contrast. Intriguing title too. Fish=Ichthus=Faith perhaps? Yes, I like the effect of the similar names! Great story!
Beth Muehlhausen04/18/06
Masterfully done - and hits to the core of what fulfillment is (and isn't), namely heart-level relationship with the Lord. Excellent job - loved every word. :-)
T. F. Chezum04/18/06
Very well written. Excellent job.
Debbie OConnor04/18/06
Powerful stuff! This is wonderful. The contrast between the lives was so painful and poignant. Thank you. I love it.


   
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