Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: RED (02/01/18)
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TITLE: The Scarlet Birth | Previous Challenge Entry
By Dianne Janak
02/08/18 -
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Dear Anger Emo,
In the whole Emo family, I do declare you are the most mysterious. Worry is wasted time, and Jealousy is dangerous, but Anger? Good grief, you’re complicated.
You scared my parents to death the day I was born. Right smack in the middle of my forehead was a birthmark the size of a quarter that turned bright red every time I cried.
For years I was wearing the scarlet letter of shame, that appeared like a neon warning for all to see. “Shame” because as I grew older, I was embarrassed by the whole experience of you, and “warning” because I feared I would do when you showed up.
Thankfully, the birthmark moved over the years to under my hair line,
so I didn’t have to live with that red flag on my face forever, but I spent much of my life struggling with you. You are incorrigible.
I despised you mostly in those early years, and blame you for stealing all peace from my home. What a field day you had, pestering my parents. My dad’s drinking after the war caused my mom so much grief she took it out on me when he left. So I only knew you as a trouble make and home wrecker. That was when I decided I was going to go to war against you and eradicate you from my life entirely. I was not going to be like them. I wanted to take the high road, and prided myself in how well I could stifle you from making an appearance to anyone I was with.
But that brought trouble to my life as well. Your existence haunts me. We can’t live with you or without you.
I often sat on you when someone hurt me,and my closest friends never knew when I was offended. I was mortified that if I admitted you were there, like a demon, lurking in the shadow, then I would be alone and friendless forever.
But not trusting them was lonely as well, and I always wondered if people really knew me, would they still love me?
I feared tension between us, and I fought for peace at any price. Sadly, the price I paid was often expensive and robbed me of freedom I could have had.
Suppressed anger made me depressed. You were trying your best to get out but my will was and is pretty strong. Now I know suppressing you was killing my joy. You are complex . Are you aware of that? But I suppose I baffle you as well.
My life changed when Jesus entered my heart and I read that He got angry. It’s called righteous anger, and I began to see you in a different light. When I start to react to you, I ask God to help me control you and He does. Now I know that you can be a good thing for this evil and cockeyed world. In fact, without you we would all be sitting on our cans while the world goes to pot. I can see clearly now how you are absolutely a game changer if you motivate me to action.
I want to call on you when I know a child is being abused, or when a first responder is being disrespected, or when my Father’s name is profaned. Setting healthy boundaries keeps you under wraps, and learning to say “no” and stop the people pleasing addiction helps as well. You show me how to control you and use you when some injustice needs to be addressed
I know God has seen that birthmark turn bright red under the hairs on my head He has counted, and guess what? He loves me regardless, even when you have wrongly blamed Him. We have a good heart to heart talk about you, and He always smiles at me and let me know how much I am loved. So yes, I have forgiven those who used you wrongly, because I have done the same, and God has forgiven me.
My attitude towards you changed when my heart towards Him was opened.
I desire to befriend you with caution, and trust you with care.
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Great message.
Blessings~