The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 207 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
06/09/16

This was just awesome! I could feel the peace surround me as I read and it made me to want to be there, lingering in that peace, that beautiful place of communing with God, uncaring of anything else...where I am revived and my faith replenished to be able to “walk in lower altitudes once more amongst the predators and thieves of serenity.” I also love the vision of the otter, I saw that on FB and the vision fit being insouciant perfectly. I thourally enjoyed this read!
06/13/16
Lovely,calming, peaceful. Well done. "effected" should be affected.
This is lovely. I feel like you wrote it just for me. You seemed to capture my emotions and my heart's pleas perfectly. I'm pretty sure that song is in the public domain, but be careful of copyright laws whenever you quote songs especially. (Also, put the words in quotation marks to show it's another's work.) My red ink is tiny. The word insouciant was used twice and felt a bit forced. You don't need to use the topic word for the piece to be on topic. I think using carefree or another similar word might have fit your MC's voice a bit better. You did an excellent job of writing on topic. I had the feeling of needing not to worry and learning how to do so throughout the entire piece. You had some great imagery too. I really enjoyed this piece.
Congratulations on ranking 12th overall. Happy Dance!
06/18/16
Congratulations, M.C., on placing 12th place in this week's challenge.

I don't think it's selfish to get away from everything and think.