The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
07/24/14
I love this piece! It's got all the elements of a great story. The tone and setting are gripping from the start. I kept asking myself how your protagonist knew the girl's name was Avery. This thread of suspense carried me to the end when it dawned on me - of course she would know the name of the prisoner's daughter - she was surly obsessed with the whole case. Great job and neat ending!!
07/25/14
It read like a chapter in a book. Well done, great story telling.

God bless~
07/27/14
This definitely feels like it could be expanded into a longer piece. It's very good with enough mystery to keep the reader interested and a good ending. Great job.

I think you meant "open the envelope" in the last paragraph instead of "upon" but that's a pretty minor critique, isn't it?
07/30/14
Well done. I didn't expect that fabulous ending.
You are a masterful storyteller.
Wow, this is amazing. I held onto every word. I could feel the emotional roller coaster ride and every turn was a new emotion. This is brilliant and one of my favorites. Congratulations! Happy Dance!
Congratulations on EC for the beautiful way you demonstrated a hard-fought forgiveness.
08/07/14
WOW! What an ending. A belated Congratulations to you. You had me enthralled.