The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 313 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
You do a wonderful job of developing the characters. I adored Ruthie and wish I had a friend like her. Your dialog felt so real. I could actually feel like I traveled back in time as I read.

I noticed your opener was a passive line. I know some people debate about that, but in my opinion, a slight rearrangement might make it pop more. For example :As if I weren't tense already, they made me wait instead of leading me straight into the interview. "Make yourself comfortable." I'm not sure how I resisited the impulse to roll my eyes.

In my opinion, it helps pull the reader in right off the bat. You did a wonderful job with the rest of the story. I chuckled as I read it. I thought for sure the old classmate was going to be the boss or something, but I like your ending much better. It's all about those little details that put together make such a likeable person. Kudos on a great story.
07/24/14
I "got" it! It's amazing how often we forget that much of what we practice now is stuff we hated while we were learning it! Well done.
I too loved the way the characters' personalities were revealed through the dialogue and action. Loved your conclusion.
07/25/14
Great job! I really enjoyed this well crafted piece.

God bless~
Congratulations for ranking 15th overall! Happy Dance!