Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Win A Publishing Package HERE            

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Day and Night (07/10/14)

TITLE: Lettered Dr. Jekyll
By Pam Ford Davis
07/15/14


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 SEND ARTICLE TO A FRIEND
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

I gaze above, at the lit up media screen in the front of our spacious sanctuary. Mindlessly, I sing along to reverential words of a familiar chorus.

Flashing back to day and night youth group bashes, I recall singing my heart out in adoration of Jesus. Sincere singing at the top of my lungs had long since become liturgical and meaningless.

With a twinge of guilt, I feel queasy; shift my weight and paste on a smile.

If they only knew...

By day, I masquerade under lettered Dr. Jekyll as successful church youth director. By night, I continue to hide in self-imposed isolation.

Our vibrant young worship leader catches my eye, acknowledging my singing with thumbs-up approval.

I’m such a hypocrite!

Diverting my attention from his eyes, I lower my head in loathing self-condemnation.

Oh no, now he’ll think I’m praying.

“Great singing, congregation! Let’s give Jesus a hand-clap of praise and thanksgiving!”

I hear and heed his invitation, secretly wanting to grab my Bible and flee the premises.

Who do I think I’m fooling?

My heartstrings had been out of tune since fate dealt me a bad hand. To my credit, I don’t verbally blame God; yet, inwardly I point an accusing finger in the direction of heaven.

The sounds of rousing applause, “Praise the Lord, Hallelujah and Amen,” ascend to the cathedral ceiling before wafting back down to my ears. My lips remain drawn, still and silent.

As the music worship-leader takes a seat, my pastor steps up to the pulpit and I breathe a stifled sigh.

At least the singing service is over.

It had been over ten years...
Joyful songs by me were over.
The year was 1980...

I graduated with honor roll recognition; following youth camp, I would marry my high school sweetheart. Before friends went separate ways, the summer camping trip would be our last opportunity to get together with the church crowd. Days 1-6 were uneventful at Camp Yahweh and I looked forward to getting home for my bridal shower.

Counselors planned a farewell picnic and cookout for the last hurrah. The weather was picture perfect, upper 80’s, low humidity and gentle breezes. On a whim, Jim, my fiance, playfully grabbed me by the hand and started running down a sloping hill towards the lake.

Fully clothed, I reluctantly took the plunge as he tossed me in. Shivering, I resurfaced from frigid waters and prepared to give him a tongue-lashing for his prank. He was nowhere in sight. Yet, I knew he had jumped in right behind me…

I called out his name, first questioning his whereabouts. Curiosity turned to anger, thinking he was playing a cruel joke. There was no answer or sign of him anywhere. Frantic, in desperation, I cried out his name repeatedly.

Unknowingly, my cries were alerting friends and counselors. His best friend found him as one buried at sea. Deep below emerald waters, Jim had hit his head on a jagged rock. Never again would we sing Kumbaya together around a campfire.

An ambulance arrived in record time and carried him to a nearby hospital, where the physician on duty sympathetically broke the news to me. Officially, he was dead on arrival. Instantaneously, hope and reason for living drained from my listless body.

My heart never missed a beat but all semblance of life was mere illusion. The only song I would sing for the decade to follow would be a funeral dirge composition. With melancholy as composer, mournful notes reverberated in lament.

Would a web of gloom, doom and despondency entrap me forever?

The sound of gentle plucking of harp strings brings me back into our worship setting. I then remember seeing a guest harpist scheduled in the media screen rolling announcements earlier. Stopping suddenly, the attractive elderly woman stands, facing the curious congregation.

“There was a time when I put my harp aside, simply not having the joy to sing or play. In the reading of Psalm 137:1-4, I discovered that God’s children were in similar straits. They lost their song. God, in his grace led me to a new song. Psalm 144:9 says, ‘I will sing a new song unto thee, O God; upon a psaltery and an instrument of ten strings will I sing praises unto thee.’ This morning, I sense that someone present has lost their song… I urge you, sing your new song.”

Peace and joy envelop me. By day, by night I will lift my voice and soul in song!

*note by writer/fictional entry


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 123 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Camille (C D) Swanson 07/17/14
Wow! That was some story. Beautifully written and delivered.

Excellent job.

God bless~
Francy Judge 07/17/14
Your story was written so well with honest emotion, I thought this might be non-fiction. It was so sad, but nice to have hope in the end.
Gregory Kane07/18/14
Sounds like a long and painful ten years.
Joe Moreland07/18/14
This was excellently written, and made some very important points that I think many Christians today struggle with.

If it had been me writing it, there is one thing I would have done differently - it's going to sound like a big thing, but I don't really think it is.

I could have done without the backstory with the fiancé drowning. To me it feels like it's done to help us understand the MC's withdrawal from God, but I felt I had a good grasp of that from your excellent beginning, a deeper understanding of why just wasn't necessary.

Leaving that part out, could have left you with more time to do a similar inner dialogue of your MC's thoughts of the harpist's comments.

That is merely my opinion, though, and you and others may feel completely differently, and I understand that. I just get this feeling that you almost wrote it without that part, but then changed your mind and put in the explanation. I don't know why I believe that (maybe something in how that section is written), but, if that is the case, I wanted to let you know that (in my opinion) your first instinct was right.

If I'm wrong, then I'm just an idiot who would have left out what many, I'm sure, will think was the best part. :)

Regardless, you did a great job. I would not have spent this much time on a comment if I didn't really, really like the piece.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 07/19/14
This is a powerful piece. I totally related to the first part and felt like you had been in my head. It surprised me a bit when you took a turn and reversed to 1980. I think that day itself would make one good story and the present a second one. I was interested in both, yet they both felt a tiny bit rushed to me. Maybe this character has more stories to tell you. If so, I certainly hope you share them because this is a powerful piece. It's surprised me a bit how many stories have been about fear and grief this week. I believe God intended these stories for certain people and I thank you for writing this one because it did make me feel like others truly understand that grief I've been feeling lately.
Phillip Cimei 07/22/14
Your story made my mind think back to the time my sister was killed in a plane crash at 21. I felt the same emotions and still do to some extent.

Great story. I think we all can relate it to someone we loved that was called by God, by our estimation, too early.

God bless.

I will watch for future writings.