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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Bestie (05/22/14)

TITLE: New Words??? New Meanings????
By Noel Mitaxa


Until "Facepalm" appeared as last week’s topic, I’d never met the word. And this week "Bestie" has sailed in from similar uncharted waters.

But rather than get all pedantic; and regret that our language is deteriorating into a kind of verbal vacuum cleaner that sucks up a mishmash of lexicographical loose ends and dumps it onto us; this entry intends to tap into the creativity behind these new words.

English is a living language; continually attracting new words and adding new meanings to existing words.

And now that newly-coined words have emerged as Challenge topics; I thought we could have some fun and add some new definitions to some familiar words ...

Archeologists: Historians with minimal self-discipline—for they like nothing better than to spend their lives in ruins.

Bullion: One thousand million New Zealand dollars.

Fransz Liszt: An obsesszive-compulszive Hungarian virtuoszo pianiszt and composzer who insiszted on keeping detailed cataloguesz of all hisz muszical maszterpieczes.

Homophone: A word that sounds like … a helpline for people with same-sex attraction.

Like: A word that’s, like, invaded adolescent speech patterns like a, like, punctuation mark; like, whether the rest of us like, like it or not, like.

Novas Kosher: A Canadian province where Jews need never fear how their food has been prepared.

Prima donna: A female entertainer whose insistence on having top-billing is nothing new, for this insistence arose many centuries pre-Madonna.

Silhouette artists: Illustrators who learn their skills the hard way, right from the start they have their work cut out for them.

Swordid detail: Forensic evidence that’s compiled by police investigating a fatal stabbing.

Won Shu: A Chinese amputee whose missing leg inspired him to write jazz lyrics; his most famous being “One Shoe come home, Bill Bailey.” This song has a very catchy tune - Won Shu get used to it.

Footnote. This entry may provoke some curiosity about the author's state of mind, but this is the Bestie could come up with….:-(

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This article has been read 251 times
Member Comments
Member Date
lynn gipson 05/29/14
Oh, now I am laughing out loud. This should certainly take top honors and if I could vote it surely would. You take the topic to a whole new level, and I, for one, love it!

It is the most original article I have ever read.

Great writing here, as usual!

Blessings, Lynn
Joe Moreland05/29/14
Okay...brick throwing has not begun, but there's no way this is not Noel, right?

There was much laughing and much groaning as I read this article, but no matter how much some of these puns hurt (I mean really, physically, hurt) I couldn't stop reading. Someday you must come to Austin and participate in Punfest (assuming they still do it).

Great job - especially if your goal was to make us roll our eyes and groan. :)
C D Swanson 05/30/14

Completely beyond insane! Loved it and always am amazed at your brain and how it functions!!!

And my all time favorite of the group and my pick:

Novas Kosher: A Canadian province where Jews need never fear how their food has been prepared.


God bless~
Danielle King 05/30/14
Unlike the above comment I ceased to be amazed at how your brain functions long ago. I simply accept the evidence - you're a madman!

However, I feel quite at home with your malady. Like attracts like as the saying goes, so don't ever change will you.

Thanks for a good laugh. Much appreciated - whoever you are!!!
Judith Gayle Smith06/01/14
Not all Hungarians ZZZ out -unless they mix a little Czech in with it. And we all sleep until our Czech comes in, ya? Loved the "tribute" to Franz Lizst, obviously.

You will be held responszible for my fractured ribsz. My guffawsz roared through the housz like a housz a-fire.

You beat Bennett Cerf for humoranitariuminizm. (This is so fun to do to spell-checker!_
Judith Gayle Smith06/01/14
ps. Thank you for the head's up on where to celebrate Passover . . .
Graham Insley06/01/14
I'm praying for you brother! lol

What will the world think of Australians by the time your word twisting is done. First we plait the poor pussy cat, then we call a man named Wal a bee -- and now we unleash your talent upon the world.

Brilliant blessings.
Diane M. Bowman 06/01/14
Won Shu get used to it... Still shaking my head.
Verbal vacuum cleaner?!

Beth LaBuff 06/05/14
All of these are super, but my favorite is Fransz Liszt! Will there be a Volume 2 with your latest creations? :)
Tracy Nunes 06/06/14
This was A HOOT! So wonderfully, unapologetically fun.