Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Four Ways For A Christian Writer To Win A Publishing Package HERE



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Light at the End of the Tunnel (01/23/14)

TITLE: A Case of God's Tunnel Vision!
By Danielle King
01/29/14


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 SEND ARTICLE TO A FRIEND
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

My sister-in-law is a freak! Honestly, she’s top dog of the highest order of controllers, yet she doesn’t see it. There should be an early warning system in place when she threatens to come to town.

I’d booked myself a trip to Paris, for no reason other than I wanted to. I kept it quiet, but I can’t lie. She somehow got wind of it, and was straight on the phone.

‘Maggie, I hear you’re planning a lone trip to Paris?’ I glance heavenward and silently plead permission for a tiny, itsy-bitsy, white porky. And God said,

‘NO!’

‘Yes Donna, it’s only a week-end though.’ I cringed.

‘No you’re not. I’m coming with you.’ Those last four words detonated an explosion in my happy bubble as my planned excursion to the City of Lights fell apart like a wet Kleenex.

‘I’m flying from London to Paris,’ I say, ‘To save time.’ Giggles; she hates flying.

‘Maggie, it’s only a couple of hours by Eurostar.’ There she goes, already.

‘I’d thought about the ferry, too.’ I’m struggling.

‘I’m seasick Maggie.’ I knew that too. I’m sensing disapproving frowns from on high. ‘What about Le Shuttle?’ She never gives up.

‘Fine!’ I concede defeat. ‘Forty five minutes in a tunnel under the sea Donna. Hope you’re not claustrophobic.’

She’d done it again, manipulated me to suit herself. I’m hopping mad with her. Okay, she means well, but she’s so pernickety. I kiss goodbye to my boat trip down the Seine, a visit to the Louvre and the Eiffel Tower. I say hello to outrageously exorbitant, posh shops whose windows I can’t afford to lick the steam off.

The weekend arrived in a flurry of south easterly gales and torrential rain. She’d booked a coach travelling from outer London, to the UK passenger terminal, and through the tunnel into France.

‘I’ve packed us sandwiches and a flask of tea,’ she said. ‘You never know who’s fingered the food at motorway services.’ Bang goes my McDonald’s!

At the terminal building, everyone left the coach to visit the retail outlets. Not us, just in case an illegal immigrant tries to hide in the toilet. ‘Donna, they’re trying to get into the country, not out.’ I sighed.

Eventually, the coach pulled onto the train carriage and the tunnel swallowed us up as an angry storm whipped and tossed the English Channel above. A small, sleeping boy awoke. ‘Yikes,’ he squealed, clapping his hands. ‘We’re underneath the sea. Dad, what if the roof leaks?’

‘It only happened twice,’ teased his brother.

Donna was looking pasty. ‘You okay?’ I asked.

‘I need the loo.’ I couldn’t resist,

‘You might find it illegally occupied.’

Inside our coach was now dimly lit. I suggested we stand outside on the carriage walkway where other travellers chatted with one another. ‘What an amazing feat of engineering,’ observed an elderly man as he mused upon the structure. ‘And did you know, at its lowest point, it’s 75metres in depth?’

The youngster’s ears pricked up. ’And, there’s trillions and billions of raging sea above us? Are we in the middle yet?’ I smiled at the boy.

‘You know some stuff.’ I said. ‘You’re very clever.’ He looked right past my left ear, and pointed.

‘What’s the matter with your friend?’

I turned to see Donna looking decidedly green around the gills. ‘I’m going to be sick,’ she declared. ‘Can you not talk about the sea?’

Following on, I witnessed a surge of hysteria fit for an Oscar. She cut all manner of capers; flitting from person to person, prattling on; laughing inappropriately, like a spotted hyena. ‘Deep breaths,’ I pleaded. ‘Chill!’

That worked well. Within minutes she was hyperventilating and clutching her chest. ‘She’s choking on her spit,’ the small boy offered.

Now, I saw the sad reality of control freak Donna’s life. Small wonder the need to order her environment and everyone in it. A huge chunk of her life was engulfed in fear and insecurity. I sensed a rumble on high. I held my breath.

‘You organised this, didn’t you? ’ And God said,

‘YES!’

Suddenly, the young boy yelled, ‘What’s that dazzling light coming toward us?’ Big brother dryly announced, ‘It’s a runaway train.’

Immediately, my never less than perfectly organised, utterly composed sis-in-law slumped into an untidy heap at my feet; but surfaced in time to witness the astonishing, blazing sunshine breaking through the heavens, as we whistled out the other end.

And God said,

‘Donna, I’m missing you!’


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 131 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Margaret Kearley 01/31/14
Wow oh wow! This had me chuckling, sympathising,commiserating and (with your last words) taking a deep breath and learning a bit more of the ways and workings of God. Wonderful writing. A great story that also packs a punch. I really loved this. Spot-on on topic!
Ellen Carr 01/31/14
This is a great story with humour and truth. You've told it well. I was not quite sure about the ending though (just my opinion) when God was speaking to Donna. I thought He'd be speaking to the MC. Thanks for your tunnel story. I enjoyed it.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 02/01/14
Oh what a delight. I loved the tongue in cheek sense of humor. I also think you did a great job of using the metaphor to make your point. I do believe the little boy was brilliant. Kudos on this wonderful story.
CD Swanson 02/05/14
Interesting and different, and altogether enjoyable.
Nicely done.

GOd bless~
Linda Goergen02/05/14
Like Ellen Carr, I did not entirely get the ending, but I enjoyed the story nevertheless. I have an overpowering, controlling sister-in-law and so I could relate to Maggie’s agony! God certainly does work in mysterious ways. Perfect title for this!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 02/06/14
Congratulations on ranking 14 overall! Happy Dance!