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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Day's End (01/01/14)

TITLE: The Gloaming
By Jim McWhinnie
01/06/14


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‘Tis the hour of melted amber-gold,
this mystic closing of the day,
when the weary daylight hours fade,
and the ravens rise and fly away.

This hour of melted amber-gold,
when light of day and evening dark
meet in soft embrace and linger there,
to listen to one more serenade
of the last and lonely meadowlark.

This hour of melted amber-gold,
when the wind moves ‘bout in mellow whispers
through, among the shadowed woods,
to usher in the moonlit souls,
to pray their evening vespers.

This hour of melted amber-gold
when the sky becomes as candle wax
of a thousand shades of colored light,
mixing, flowing, in-and-out,
as if weaving threads of spectral flax.

This hour of melted amber-gold,
‘tis called the gloaming by the old,
those souls whose time is seasoned deep,
by all the hard times, long-endured,
and all the wonders, they did behold.

Yes, this hour of melted amber-gold,
‘tis the hushed and holy time,
when in the distance one can sometimes hear
the footsteps of One passing by
and the toll of heaven’s chime.


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This article has been read 313 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Carolyn Ancell01/09/14
Absolutely beautiful. I love the feeling of "amber gold" that covers all.
Nancy Bucca 01/09/14
I like the word picture you paint with this, with flecks of amber gold sprinkled througout. Your title is unique and unforgettable. (I've never heard of the word "gloaming" before). Nice work.
Ellen Carr 01/09/14
Beautiful! I love 'the hour of melted amber gold'. It's a wonderful descriptive term. Great job with this lovely poem!
Linda Goergen01/09/14
Lovely and peaceful visuals that make you feel you are there engulfed in the melted amber gold of day’s end! Just an outstanding piece—loved it!
Jan Ackerson 01/10/14
I’d love to have your input into the free writing lessons available on the FaithWriters forums. This week’s lesson is on writing devotionals, and next week will cover writing on topic for the weekly challenge. Look for it at http://www.faithwriters.com/Boards/phpBB2/viewforum.php?f=67, or if you’re on Facebook, you can “like” Faithwriters Writing Lessons.
CD Swanson 01/11/14
Beautiful and so peaceful...classy piece of work that resonates love.

God bless~
Danielle King 01/11/14
Peaceful and soothing. Lovely words for relaxation, with music playing softly in the background!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 01/11/14
You managed to create an awesome picture in my mind. Each word built on the previous creating a stunning piece.
Virginia Bliss 01/12/14
The distinctive rhyming words such as "dark" and "lark"; and "wax" and "flax" add to the beauty of the poem.
Margaret Kearley 01/12/14
I thought I recognised this beautiful descriptive poetry! Another great and lovely entry Jim - I love the phrase ' the hour of melted gold'! The last verse is just wonderful - thankyou.
Judith Gayle Smith01/12/14
This immersed me in wonderment and beauty. Thank you.
Beth LaBuff 01/12/14
You always create such eloquent, moving, gorgeous visions for your reader. I can visualize this time of day through your words. The beauty you describe made me want to stay in that moment (even though it's not possible) -- but your words do allow that. Thank you!
lynn gipson 01/12/14
Wow. This blew me away! Beautifully written and expressed with deep emotional words that come from an extraordinary soul, no doubt. This is extraordinary in itself. You definitely have THE gift.
Graham Insley 01/12/14
"Roaming in the gloaming with my lassie by my side..." The word gloaming brings back many memories for me.

A masterful picture drawn on the twilight sky of a special moment. Beautiful.

Blessings, Graham.
Colin Swann01/13/14
This is stunningly beautiful. When I told Gill you had written this moving poem, 'The Gloaming',she burst into song with the phrase 'roaming in the gloaming'. I think this is going places.
Theresa Santy 01/13/14
Beautiful. I love the sound of "melted amber gold" and I love the imagery that comes to mind when I read it!
Lynda Schultz 01/15/14
Lovely! Well done.
Bea Edwards 01/15/14
Your word picture is exactly perfect!

....threads of spectral flax in shades of amber gold....

Wow splendid piece of work Jim.
Terry R A Eissfeldt 01/16/14
This is beautiful and you have lots of nice yellow boxes to cheer you on!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 01/16/14
Congratulations on ranking 11 in your level and 11 overall! (The highest rankings can be found on the message boards.)
Verna Cole Mitchell 01/17/14
This is an absolutely gorgeous poem, the kind that lingers on and on to savor in my heart--a winner for me!