The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
04/12/13
I enjoyed your cat and bird poem (oh yes, fish too). It was good fun. Well done.
Oh how I love this. I'm not a big poetry fan but this was simply delicious. I even think it would be a marvelous fit for a picture book. Outstanding!
04/13/13
Bravo! Bravo! This is just exceptional. Loved the story so well told with perfect rhyme, flow and meter! As a cat owner of one whose personality fits Shiloh's, I was entranced. Great message also.

What a joy to read.
04/13/13
I usually struggle with reading poetry and typically give up by the second stanza,(must have been dropped on my head as a child).
But, I actually finished and ENJOYED your piece! I agree with Shann that it would be a great picture book.
I feel so accomplished having read a full poem. Thanks for keeping this short attention span girl engaged!
04/13/13
What a treat to read a new poem by the master! As usual, this did not disappoint, from the Shiloh/Maxx rival (is there a hidden story in this?) :) to all the wonderful images (favorites being: yellowfish pond, and three yellowfish circling Shiloh's head) and a rich tangible setting. I'll also ditto what the others said, about the perfect meter and wanting to see illustrations. Thanks!
04/14/13
Aw, this is adorable. I love every word of it but especially - 'they would spit for a bit and then stage a retreat.' That line tickled me pink, and I'm still laughing. Great poetry!
04/14/13
ps... Love the title too.
04/14/13
Ah, so very nicely done. Loved this humorous proverb done as a masterful poem. Perfect ending!
04/14/13
Thrilled to see you back in action with this purrfect prose!
Masterfully done! I enjoyed this poem from beginning to end. Superb!
Love the drama! Excellent.
04/15/13
Ditto on the children's book suggestion. Kids would love this, and its conclusion is easy to grasp. After two readings, though, I still want the first verb in line 10 to be past tense. Maybe just me, though.
04/15/13
You're absolutely correct, Carolyn - Thanks! Comments/corrections like yours are exactly what I'm lookin' for. I made the change on the final draft.
04/16/13
Okay...this is absolutely a masterpiece of poetry writing! The "atmosphere," story, rhyme, flow, humor, message-all are perfect in my opinion! I am very humbled to read such excellent work! Your descriptive words put me front and center as an interested observer of this thrilling scene! :) I especially liked: "The cats lunged at each other and began to brawl,
Tumbling head over tail in a tight fuzzy ball". Thank you for making me smile and making me think!!
04/17/13
WOW-Genius at work, "do not disturb" working on the next masterpiece!!

This was fabulous. I LOVED it! This should do well with the judges for sure.

God bless~
Congratulations on ranking 12th in your level and 16 overall!