Looking back, the signs were so obvious. I don't know why we didn't make the connections. The virgin birth, His teachings, and even His own claims to be the Messiah. My bother, Peter and I, were among his closest disciples, but even we were so... well, naive. I think we all wanted to believe, but at the same time, He wasn't exactly what we were expecting in the Messiah.
There were the miracles, and just the way He treated everyone. The only ill words spoken of Him were lies, stemming from jealousy, pride, superiority... so many things. They had their reasons.
I suppose we had our reasons too, but we spent so much time with Him. It should have been obvious. How could we, his closest disciples, have missed so much?
There are many moments with Him that I'll never forget. I'd love to say I'll never forget any moment with Him, but... well, I'm not perfect. But I know Someone who is.
Anyway, let me tell you about one of the nights I'll never forget. He had just sent the crowds away and told us to go on ahead. We got in the boat, and the winds started to pick up. Waves were splashing up against the boat, and water was beginning to get in. The winds were so bad we could barely control the boat.
Then, in the blackness, we saw... something. A figure. None of us were quite sure what it was. However, seeing as we were in the middle of the sea at night, we assumed the worse. Our imaginations might have run a bit wild.
"It's a ghost!" I cried. When He saw how scared we were, He called out to us. Peter... well, he's always been a bit... how should I say this? Impulsive. He said, "Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water."
Do you know what he did next? He started to climb out of the boat! I told you he was impulsive. I tried to stop him.
I grabbed him by the shoulder. "Uh... Peter? Are you nuts?"
He simply brushed my hand away and climbed the rest of the way out of the boat.
I started working on my apology to Mother for not keeping a good eye on him.
But then, something amazing happened. Peter was walking on water too! He took a few steps before he realized what was going on. Then he looked around and got scared. I heard the splash as he started sinking. I started praying.
Jesus reached out His hand and said "Oh, you of little faith. Why did you doubt?" Together they climbed back into the boat.
People always talk about Peter's lack of faith after he got out of the boat. At lest he got out! The rest of us just sat there, dumbfounded. I still wrestle with the thought. Why didn't I have that kind of faith? Peter may be impulsive, but he's always had the stronger faith, too. I wish I could be more like him.
If I had to do it all over again, I'd love to say that I would have seen the signs. That I'd have that kind of faith. If I'm being honest, I'm not sure I would. I'm too stubborn.
Now, I try to proclaim His wonders to anyone who will listen. But I'm ready to take the next step. What if I started to proclaim Him to those who didn't want to listen? Sure, I'll make some enemies along the way, but I think I'm ready. I want to dive in. I can't do it alone, but I know I can with His help. Lord? I'm ready. Catch me.
Based on Matthew 14:22-33
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