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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: "Splash" 4-11-13 Deadline (04/04/13)

TITLE: Making Waves
By Jack Taylor


Making Waves

Dizney sprinted like a rabbit just whiskers ahead of a greyhound. Fenster was pounding the pavement right behind him with a tennis racket poised to strike.

The pair hurtled the knee-high hedge at old Farley’s place and scampered through the neatly planted petunias, over the begonias, and down on top of the snow white daisies. Their laughter flowed like the falls at River Creek.

Fenster caught his breath first. “Did you see the look on her face? It was like she sucked up a toad in her shake. What was that you called her? I bet she’s gonna be surfin’ the net all day trying to figure it out.”

Dizney examined a new set of scratch marks on his arm. “I called her a pulchritudinous charwoman and she came at me like a cat with her tail on fire. Poor wench. Thinks she’s so smart showin’ us up in Math. Doesn’t know a complement when she hears one.”

The two were still cackling when old Farley’s Doberman rounded the corner at a gallop. Fenster was almost ready for the snapping jaws but the tennis racket moved a tad too slow. The razor sharp fangs ripped at the blur of his flailing arms and raised a streak of crimson near an elbow.

Dizney was hurtling the hedge by the time old Farley put the grip on his howling friend. The teen didn’t look back for a second as he dodged through Evy’s strawberry patch, round Hanson’s rose garden, down the gulley and up into Harpreet Singh’s blueberry farm.

Only one thing he’d forgotten. Harpreet Singh had moved the old outhouse without posting any signs.

Splash is hardly the word to describe the sound that sighed out of that hole. It was more a kind of kersplush followed by the noise you hear when a cow pulls its foot out of the muck. And the hollering was more like a werewolf howling than a boy raising up a big stink.

Rumour has it that Dizney found religion that day. By the time he crawled out of that potty drop he headed right for River Creek. It was just the time young Reverend Jimmy was baptizing all the new Baptists.

Dizney dove in right off the bank and surfaced right beside the Reverend.

The new pastor was as surprised as anyone but not knowing the clear traditions of this county he gladly obliged the mucky teen by putting him under the water again. When the smell was still overwhelming he decided this was the time to be immersing once each for the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

The sputtering convert staggered toward the bank and looked back in awe. He knew he was about to be a changed man.

No one was more surprised than Becky Lynn – the aforementioned ‘pulchritudinous charwoman’ who happened to be the lead in the Baptist choir. She was about to lead her robed troupe in another verse of Amazing Grace but all that escaped her lips was an unearthly screech.

Dizney gaped at the banshee descending on him like a fallen angel. The fact that he was thigh deep in creek water didn’t seem to faze the choir leader as she sprang from the bank. Dizney was sure this wasn’t about to be a welcoming hug so he sidestepped the golden avalanche and shielded himself from the results of a glorious belly flop.

When Becky Lynn surfaced gasping beside the Reverend the holy man figured he was facing a revival and dunked the cherub with a humdinger of a hallelujah echoed by Dizney himself.

Dizney didn’t wait to see if his adversary was going to need CPR. He headed for the hills and home.

Monday morning’s Math class was an otherworldly experience. Becky Lynn shuffled into class with her head down. Not one smirk. Not one gloating comment. She slumped into a front desk and stared straight ahead.

Dizney felt sorry for her. Rumours of the twin conversions had been ricocheting around town and the poor girl’s image had not improved by being tied to him so closely.

At the cafeteria Dizney saw her seated alone. Before he could check himself he settled in beside her. “Pulchritudinous means beautiful.”

“And I suppose charwoman means angel?
Did Fenster send you to mock me again?”

“Didn’t you notice? Baptism got the stink right out of me. How about dinner? You could help me with Math afterwards.”

“Why not? We’ve already made one splash together.”

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This article has been read 568 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 04/11/13
I found this to be a delightful read. Your described such beautiful and well maybe beautiful isn't the right word but vivid descriptions that I could almost smell the MC. You had me smiling throughout this delightful story and had me looking up a new vocabulary word which is always a wonderful thing to do. I will warn people, however, not to Google pulchritudinous charwoman together in one search because apparently it's a name of an adult game.I think you covered the topic in a fun and fresh way (giving fresh a literal meaning with the outhouse debacle) Loved it!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 04/11/13
I meant to leave a tiny bit of red ink, but got so caught up with pulchritudinous charwoman that I forgot to mention that you meant the compliment with an I not an e. I hadn't realized there were two different compliments until a kind FW pointed it out to me, so now I'm grateful for that advice and like to pass it on. I still think you did an awesome job with this out of the box romance. :-)
Linda Goergen04/12/13
WOW!!! What a tale you’ve told and what vision you’ve given the topic splash! You had me laughing out loud, some parts of this was so funny! An absolutely masterfully written, creatively woven, entertaining read! Plus, yep, I too learned a new word! Just outstanding, loved it!
Darleen Coon04/13/13
This was laugh out loud funny!

I loved your wonderfully descriptive words!

I will have to remember the word pultritudinous for future writing forays.
Leola Ogle 04/15/13
Oh, my my! What a delightful tale! And to find religion because of his pranks was priceless! I love this entry. God bless!
Judith Gayle Smith04/17/13
Laugh out loud delicious! Your descriptions had me rivetted and I was sad to see the adventure end.
C D Swanson 04/17/13
Hahahahahahaha! This was so good! I loved it.

God bless~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 04/18/13
Congratulations on ranking 14th in your level and 21 overall!