The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
01/19/13
Hehe this is cute.

At first I assumed the MC was younger, because of the "mum" line and the "hour" line. I thought her parents were going to be gone for an hour and she was supposed to do something before her parents returned. But that really didn't detract from the story at all, once I realized what was going on.

Nice job!
01/19/13
Oh I really enjoyed this one! A delightful read and I get the mother in law thing entirely, mine was like that, God rest her soul. Didn't appreciate her then as much as I do now, too late.

Excellent!
01/19/13
Great beginning, and a fitting end with a great storyline in between, but there's a measure of secrecy here as to where the topic is hiding.:-)

I'm looking...
01/19/13
I enjoyed your mother-in-law tale. The MC's indignation rang true. I'm not sure that the m-i-l sounded like the type who'd fall around laughing, as at the end, but it was a warm ending. Well done.
01/20/13
This was such a delightful read, even if I was lost at times. I still have no idea what you mean when you refer to the father as "what a mug". But that aside, there was a pace to this story that was as jovial as your mc was mad. I loved how you used the character of Bev as the thermostat and let us in on the fact that there was a lot of over-reaction going on and that the MC was not "herfelf" at the moment. Great use of humor and comical circumstances.
01/21/13
Cute, sweet, fun! :) I really enjoyed this well-written tale!
01/22/13
Awww...an adorable read. I really liked it. God bless~
01/23/13
Wow-- your story was topically brilliant. I'm sure many of us can identify with the MC's rant...priceless bit of writing. I really enjoyed myself! Well done.
01/23/13
I thoroughly enjoyed this tale. At times, I was a bit confused by the English humor: It was mum who got up my snout most though. He was ... and She had aversion to bum on chair.

I think that the theme was subtly woven in. A new mom and mother-in-law measuring each other up.
01/24/13
I love the story progression. You've filled this with a lot of emotion and smiles, and your ending is superb! Great work!
Oh this is grand. You had me giggling and smiling at every word. I would love to have someone hang out my sheets and make up my bad every other day. Congratulations on ranking 22 overall!
01/31/13
Great dialogue and totally believable characters. Good buildup (with not even the smallest pregnant pause???) in the tension and a strong twist at the close. Totally enjoyable read.