The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
01/10/13
Your title sounded something like an oxymoron at first, and I found it hard to get a handle on where you were leading us at first. Maybe a brief character profile, or a patient's previous history may have helped more than having to wait for your author's note. Despite this, the clinical feel is there throughout, with good descriptive input.
01/11/13
This is an interesting story about the patients in a mental hospital. I caught on to the flat affect right away (I had thought of doing a similar story) You had a nice subtle sense of humor and this was definitely an interesting and different story.
01/12/13
This is a very creative take on the topic and treated a group of 'interesting' people with humor. Even this reader was left questioning her sanity. Well done.
01/12/13
You put us there completely. I felt their confusion, perplexity and Sarah's emotionless "flatness". My only suggestion is that the references to Jean Smith being flat seemed to be a part of the story to meet the topic, and I think you already accomplished that, with wonderful subtlety, through Sarah. Very nice entry. Thanks for sharing it with us.
01/12/13
This was very interesting and well done. You did good in putting me in the mind of Sarah. The ending was spot on. Great writing!
01/12/13
This is awesome. Being bipolar all my life I know a little about "flat affect" and I loved the way you described each patient so convincingly. Great story!
01/12/13
I liked the main character's slow progression to being a bit more alert. I felt like the ending was a bit rushed and fuzzy, but otherwise much enjoyed this.
01/13/13
Your knowledge of mentally compromised patients shines through. I'm impressed with your ability to turn great descriptions of multi-faceted:-)behaviors into a well-coordinated story; even though at first, I searched for a theme.

Also wondering if the title aptly represents what the story is about. Overall, a difficult write with good results.:-)
01/13/13
Very interesting story. Somewhat spooky though as I identified with some of the characters... Are you sure about your disclaimer ;-} ?
Seriously you did a fantastic job at bringing us into the psyche ward!
01/15/13
Having worked as a counselor/director for so many years in the mental health field,(particularly for the elderly) I knew instinctually to which you were refering from the very first paragraph. You did a phenomenal job presenting the behavior and patterns of speech (flat-affect) and describing the overall environment.

Good writing and unique approach for the topic at hand.

God bless~
02/11/13
Most enjoyable, and very thought provoking . . .