The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
01/10/13
Your title sounded something like an oxymoron at first, and I found it hard to get a handle on where you were leading us at first. Maybe a brief character profile, or a patient's previous history may have helped more than having to wait for your author's note. Despite this, the clinical feel is there throughout, with good descriptive input.
This is an interesting story about the patients in a mental hospital. I caught on to the flat affect right away (I had thought of doing a similar story) You had a nice subtle sense of humor and this was definitely an interesting and different story.
01/12/13
This is a very creative take on the topic and treated a group of 'interesting' people with humor. Even this reader was left questioning her sanity. Well done.
01/12/13
You put us there completely. I felt their confusion, perplexity and Sarah's emotionless "flatness". My only suggestion is that the references to Jean Smith being flat seemed to be a part of the story to meet the topic, and I think you already accomplished that, with wonderful subtlety, through Sarah. Very nice entry. Thanks for sharing it with us.
01/12/13
This was very interesting and well done. You did good in putting me in the mind of Sarah. The ending was spot on. Great writing!
01/12/13
This is awesome. Being bipolar all my life I know a little about "flat affect" and I loved the way you described each patient so convincingly. Great story!
I liked the main character's slow progression to being a bit more alert. I felt like the ending was a bit rushed and fuzzy, but otherwise much enjoyed this.
01/13/13
Your knowledge of mentally compromised patients shines through. I'm impressed with your ability to turn great descriptions of multi-faceted:-)behaviors into a well-coordinated story; even though at first, I searched for a theme.

Also wondering if the title aptly represents what the story is about. Overall, a difficult write with good results.:-)
01/13/13
Very interesting story. Somewhat spooky though as I identified with some of the characters... Are you sure about your disclaimer ;-} ?
Seriously you did a fantastic job at bringing us into the psyche ward!
01/15/13
Having worked as a counselor/director for so many years in the mental health field,(particularly for the elderly) I knew instinctually to which you were refering from the very first paragraph. You did a phenomenal job presenting the behavior and patterns of speech (flat-affect) and describing the overall environment.

Good writing and unique approach for the topic at hand.

God bless~
Most enjoyable, and very thought provoking . . .