The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 562 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
11/09/12
This tragic story of distrust, accusation, misunderstanding and so much more, sadly happens far too often. You tell the story well and leave the reader with a longing that this family will know the healing and restoring hand of God.
11/09/12
I like the way you've woven the topic around the undershirt. (That's a new one on me but I like it.) There was lots of suspense from the beginning which held my interest because I wanted to know what the cheating rat had been up to. The twist in the tale came just at the right time and I thought the ending was perfect. It's one of those stories that hooks you in. Great job!
11/11/12
Realistic dialogue in this all-too-real piece. Good way to weave a story around the topic, with the clothing being the center of the conflict. Nice job of writing.
11/11/12
Oh, this is good. Jumping to conclusions is generally not a good idea... This is a great illustration of that.

The beginning seemed a bit disjointed and didn't flow well for me.

Great job over all. I liked it. :)
11/12/12
This story was very intense and emotional and had a couple good messages. At the very beginning I was concerned for the relationship of this couple since the wife was so quick to think the worst of her husband and then not even give him a chance to explain. I felt sad for the daughter but admired her honesty.
11/13/12
You built a suspenseful beginning which became crystal clear the second read through. I could see the MC so clearly going through those motions in the car. I'm assuming that's what you were aiming for. But assuming is what got the MC into a situation many husbands wouldn't have forgiven so easily. Just to say- assumption is a tool of the enemy.
I really liked your hard hitting story- well done.
11/13/12
You built a suspenseful beginning which became crystal clear the second read through. I could see the MC so clearly going through those motions in the car. I'm assuming that's what you were aiming for. But assuming is what got the MC into a situation many husbands wouldn't have forgiven so easily. Just to say- assumption is a tool of the enemy.
I really liked your hard hitting story- well done.
11/14/12
Wow - this is so packed with emotion, yet you so skillfully kept the story flowing along without losing your characters or your readers. Fantastic job.
11/15/12
This was very well written. It gives lots of description and allows the reader to be right there in the scene. I think we all have a tendency to jump to conclusions before we know what is actually the truth. You've done a great job in your building up of the story to an unsuspected conclusion. Great job!
11/28/12
Sorry it took me so long to read this. It was suspenseful, thought provoking, and touching.I felt sorry for the woman as she dug around in the car, hoping to find nothing, furious and hurt that she did. You pulled me into this family's drama, and I found myself hoping that the husband was innocent. Phew! The daughter in your story, sadly, represents all too many young girls and the pressure placed upon them by boyfriends. Jumping to conclusions is never a good thing, and your story brought that message home. Also in a family, communication is vital.