The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 639 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
11/07/12
Your interesting story has a frightening scenario tempered with the hope of eternal life in the end.I liked your symbolic title...a park housing the Word within a tree....and the tree gave life!
Wow this is such a powerful piece. It grabbed my heart immediately and still won't let go. This is a bit of brilliance in my humble opinion.

The only red ink I have is quite minor but I stumbled and had to stop reading and think then reread this sentence: Simply penciled, he'd depicted a tree with a hole drawn near the bottom
The way it's worded I thought the hole was in the ground, then when I reread it I thought the hole was drawn on the paper then finally I realized the hole was on the picture of the tree near the bottom of the trunk. Perhaps if you had written ...a tree with a hole near the bottom of the trunk. But then it could just be me.

Your message in this piece is stunning and reminds me of a short film I saw when I was on a teen retreat thirty years ago, but like your story it will, it has stayed in my mind. A man was in charge of the bridge and lowering it and raising it. The train was coming so he put it in the proper position when suddenly his little boy was running toward him. He had to chose to save his son and let the people on the train perish or save the train and watch his son die in front of him. I wasn't a parent when I first saw that but I remember it and now that I've had kids the sacrifice is even more clear to me. Your story does the same thing. It was definitely my favorite this week by far. Congratulations on the well-deserved EC. Outstanding job!
Perfect title for this well-told story. Enjoyed the intrigued and admired the parent's determined faith in their son. Congratulations, Jody on your EC placement.
11/08/12
This is such an amzing story and takes the reader of such an unexpected journey. Inspiring and great to read. Thankyou. Congratulations on your EC.
11/08/12
WOW!! This futuristic story first captured my attention with its element of suspense and then sobered me with its portrayal of what may be possibly ahead for Christians. I appreciated how it ended with hope, though! CONGRATULATIONS on your E.C. win!
11/09/12
I'm an English teacher, and my tenth graders read Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451. Your little piece shares a common theme--and, it speaks to me of a dangerous reality that could be a possibility in the lives of future generations.

You have a powerful message here.
11/09/12
I had a totally different take on your story from the beginning to about mid point. But your climatic ending cleared up my preconceived notions and I was absolutely wowed how you turned it around. Fantastic entry well done!
Wow this was my favourite.. captivating and intriging at the same time... the ending was brilliant too.
Wow this was my favourite.. captivating and intriging at the same time... the ending was brilliant too.
11/09/12
You've crafted a fascinating story. I loved the ending. Congrats on your EC!