The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/18/12
I really felt for the characters and wanted them to learn from the other couple. Your dialogue was very realistic. I'm sure many readers including myself can relate to the picking arguments that ruin the joy in marriage. Nice job.
Oh this is great! Normally I'd suggest not to use taglines but instead use narratives that do more showing but this piece is a perfect example of how the dialog does more showing than the narrative. I bet any couple who has been married more than a year or two can relate to this. You made some great points in this piece. Marriage is hard work. I enjoyed this one a lot.
10/21/12
I enjoyed this, and you did well with the dialogue to tell the whole story. My heart is pulling for this young couple and thousands like them! Good writing.
Excellent "showing" through dialog. Your last line shows that they don't really get it yet, but maybe their friends' example will help them.
10/25/12
Good job Michael! Congratulations! God bless!
10/25/12
Excellent work here. I love the dialogue leading up to the couple (possibly) checking out the idea of going to church. The markers you put in here and there were a great way to keep track of who's talking to whom - so easy to lose track of in a dialogue.

Congratulations on winning 2nd place. It's well deserved.
10/26/12
Wow this seemed like a scenario of numerous arguments in my previous(unsaved)and former married life.
You did a wonderful job portraying the American dream lie. Fantastic and unique way to present the topic. A well deserved win--congratulations!