The Official Writing Challenge
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Some great realistically discordant marital dialogue in this story. Not that I would know that from experience. LOL. But I will admit that I have had personal experience with the absentminded husband, who forgot he dropped me off at the library. Not so hilarious then but we find it pretty funny when we talk about it now. Hope Cal & Mavis are able to see the humor in their little separation soon.
10/12/12
Great build-up with such vivid characters and dialogue to an hilarious close. Well done.
10/12/12
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha! Great job with this, and so realistically portrayed. I loved the ending.

God Bless~
I thought it was funny. Great story.
You definitely took me by surprise with the ending. Though you did set it up with the title and "the last word either of them had spoken." Hmm maybe that was cheating just a tad! :) I do like being surprised though so even if it was a tad sneaky, or in reality a touch of comic genius, I'm delighted by the umph that the ending gave me. I could feel my eyes bulging and I laughed out loud.

My only red ink was that it felt more like telling than showing. Maybe instead of telling Cal didn't mean to do it show it by something like Cal pounded his fist into his open hand. "It was totally an accident." might be more showing.

However, even with the tiny red ink this story was an absolute delight. I can see why you did more telling too as the he said she said is a big part of the conflict. You handled the dialog masterfully. I'm sure just about everyone can relate to this odd couple. My first thoughts were of Ethyl and Fred from I love Lucy. That's a huge compliment because I believe everyone involved in that show was genius. You definitely nailed the topic and did a delightful job of building the suspense. I so enjoyed this delightful piece.
10/17/12
I thought the dialogue and your characterization of the couple were well done. It was a very cute story! :)
10/18/12
Congratulations, Leola!

Wing His Words!
10/18/12
Congratulations, Leola. I've been absent from the challenge for a few weeks, and didn't realize you were now in level 4--where you obviously belong! This is a great piece, though a little too true to my experience in over 50 years of marriage. (^_^)
This definitely had me chuckling - wasn't expecting the ending, but it could not have been more perfect. Congratulations!
10/18/12
CONGRATULATIONS on your well-deserved E.C. and level wins for this humorous piece!
10/18/12
This was a delight to read! Congratulations, Leola, on your placings this week!
10/18/12
Congratulations on such an hilarious piece of writing - even the judges agree with us. Great work.
10/19/12
The couple were just like me and my husband who have survived 43 years of tit-for-tat. This was really funny. Congratulations!
10/19/12
Loved the exchanges only 'old' married folks could understand. But your wonderful piece also gave me pause and caused me to reconsider how my seemingly harmless pokes might not be so meaningless to my best half.
Thank you and congratulations!
10/19/12
Congratulations Leola! Nicely done. God bless~
10/20/12
LOL! These two brought a laugh to me this evening. What a story. Yes, it is funny! (no matter what they think) :) Super congrats on your ribbon and Editor's Choice award.