The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 761 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
08/24/12
This was a very clever and interesting entry...great imagination! I really enjoyed it.

God bless~
08/25/12
Well this is certainly different. I like the way you added the beep, beep, beeps. I was with the poor girl sitting at the checkout bored out of her head. It moved along well to the dreaded testing kit, but I'd never guessed what the package was until the last line. And she didn't seem over keen on other people's kids so yup, everything tied in well. Great job!
08/25/12
Oh, I like this. I kept wondering what she had in her bag.
I love this story. Having read most of them this week, I really appreciate the POV from the clerk. Many stories are about the unpleasant job of shopping not clerking. My heart lunged for the MC. I remember discovering I was pregnant at 18 and thought it was the end of the world too. Now I know it was just the beginning of the most wonderful life ever- being a mom. :)
08/26/12
Very interesting, clever, and well-written! I really felt for the poor checker at the end.
08/26/12
WoW! This is really good, I could read on,like the beginning of a very good book. Loved it...thanks

God Bless