The Official Writing Challenge
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01/12/12
I like the pleading tone. Very appropriate for a YA market. However, it goes on a little too long with no resolution. She is steadfastly defensive -- could this be taken somewhere we haven't been before?
01/12/12
Wow- this was emotionally fused from the get go! Brilliantly written, nice job.

God Bless~
01/13/12
It is sad that we quickly judge people by their exterior appearances or for being quiet. There are valid times to defend someone because others don't know him in the same way the MC does.

But not this creep. This is a tragic story of a topic not new in society. It's been going on far too long; more than decades for sure.

This girl, like so many others used and abused by supposed "loved ones" don't see a way out. Any attention, even if abusive, is still attention.

At least in present times there are outreach programs to help raise awareness and safe houses. Sadly, those from decades long passed never had a voice or advocate.
01/14/12
I hope and pray this was fiction. But, it was so realistic, I was literally sick to my stomach after reading it. The girlís self esteem so abused, first as this implies by her dad, and now by her boyfriend, that all she does is blame herself and make excuses for him. This shows commitment alright, but a very sick kind. And even if this fiction, in all too many cases it is not. Anger just wells up in me over men and boys that physically and mentally abuse like that. This poem is very powerful in its message. Hope this could get beyond FW and into the hands of girls and women to help them see.
This is a relationship commitment we need to abolish. Well written as I could feel emotion from the MC and myself.
I have tears streaming down my face. This is a horrible story but so wonderfully written. You explained the reasons for staying in such a clear way. I liked your twist on the topic- the one time someone should break their marriage commitment would be in a situation such as this. That was quite clever. Many people don't understand why someone would stay with a person who raped her. For me, my mind couldn't come to reconciliation with the fact that I'd had sex with someone I didn't love. The only answer my mind could find as a just cause was I must be in love with him. So I convinced my heart we were in love. Thankfully God pulled me out of that relationship without too many scars. Bless you for writing this difficult piece.
Congratulations for ranking 10th in Masters and 16th overall!