The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 457 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
09/09/11
hahahahaahaha. Cute job of the "siblings" interaction. The little one was quite clever. I liked it. God bless~
09/12/11
Poor Ayden, forced into playing Barbie and busted anyway! LOL This light-hearted story is a humorous showing of disobeying having consequences!! Fun read.
Such a true picture of young siblings. The little one's quite crafty. Well written.
Oh, I love this! Mothers always know! I'm sure you've seen this little error by now but just in case = This sentence doesn't seem to flow right to me: "Ayden?" She started to say before he took off running towards Lily's bedroom.

But other than that tiny thing, I thought it was hilarious and very well-written.
09/13/11
So funny! How many brothers have been caught out this way! Well done!
Reminds me of my little ones. Very cute story and believable. My heart went out to Ayden. :)
09/14/11
I have two kids and can see this scenario playing out much differently here. I liked it. The story was simple and direct and followed the topic exactly.