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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Persuasion (not about the book) (09/01/11)

TITLE: Betrayed by a Barbie
By Ruth Neilson
09/07/11


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"You wouldn't," Ayden blurted out as he stared at his little sister, Lily. But it took one look at the smirk on her normally innocent face that told him otherwise.

"I would and you know it," Lily challenged, crossing her small arms across her chest with a smirk. "Sides, I didn't make you take the candy, even though Mom said that you had to wait until after dinner."

Ayden dramatically huffed and glared at the little snot of a sister. He knew she had him where she wanted him. But the question lingered. "Fine—you caught me. Now what do I have to do to keep you from telling Mom?"

She leaned forward on her toes and grinned widely. "I want you to play Barbies with me."

Ayden blinked before shaking his head rapidly. "Oh no. I won't. And you can't make me."

"PL-ease Ayden! If you play Barbies with me and I won't tell Mom."

"Won't tell Mom, what?" Mom's voice echoed through the hallway and Ayden swallowed as he shifted his gaze quickly from their mom back to the snotty nose brat. Lily smiled widely and shrugged, gazing at Ayden with her gray eyes alight with something he couldn't quite identify. But something told him that he wasn't going to like it.

"Nothing Momma," Lily called before starting to skip down the hallway. She paused midway down and smirked as her voice echoed through their home, "C'mon Ayden, let's go play Barbies!"

Ayden rolled his eyes before feeling his mom's suspicious gaze fall on him. "Ayden?" She started to say before he took off running towards Lily's bedroom.

"Sorry Mom, I promised Lily we'd play together today."

"Alright fine...but when you're done, you best have an answer as to why your Halloween candy tub is empty."

Ayden sighed, bobbed his head, and called behind him, "Yes, Ma'am."


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This article has been read 291 times
Member Comments
Member Date
CD Swanson 09/09/11
hahahahaahaha. Cute job of the "siblings" interaction. The little one was quite clever. I liked it. God bless~
Linda Goergen09/12/11
Poor Ayden, forced into playing Barbie and busted anyway! LOL This light-hearted story is a humorous showing of disobeying having consequences!! Fun read.
Bryan Ridenour09/13/11
Such a true picture of young siblings. The little one's quite crafty. Well written.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 09/13/11
Oh, I love this! Mothers always know! I'm sure you've seen this little error by now but just in case = This sentence doesn't seem to flow right to me: "Ayden?" She started to say before he took off running towards Lily's bedroom.

But other than that tiny thing, I thought it was hilarious and very well-written.
Helen Curtis09/13/11
So funny! How many brothers have been caught out this way! Well done!
marcella franseen 09/14/11
Reminds me of my little ones. Very cute story and believable. My heart went out to Ayden. :)
Joey Parker 09/14/11
I have two kids and can see this scenario playing out much differently here. I liked it. The story was simple and direct and followed the topic exactly.