The Official Writing Challenge
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Eeeewwwwwww-- shuddering right along with you-- (that's good writing btw) Love the creative descriptions: sloshed with enthusiasm being my favorite!! And yes, sometimes we are much too generous in our assigned adjectives for things here on earth. Your ending sums that up perfectly.
I can well image the condition of that house. When my sister and her husband first got married, they rented a 3 bedroom house, that smokers had lived in. We scrubbed the walls three times and still couldn't remove all the yellow stains and smell.

It was amazing that the real estate seller wanted a call back at all. Did he really believe his own story?
"...a marvelous little house"--truly outlandish!
Oh, I could see all this and the couples conversation and emotions. You had me smiling and I LOVE your ending sentence.