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I didn’t say what she heard
When I said what I said
That she says that I said
That I didn’t really say,
Honest.
But
She thought that I said
What I said
Was an insult to her mother,
Which isn’t what I said,
Even though it could’ve been true, metaphorically speaking,
But it wasn’t what I said,
Honest.
But
She told her mother what I said
Which wasn’t what I said
When I said what I said
About pit bulls needing muzzles,
Even though it could’ve been true, allegorically maybe,
But it wasn’t what I said,
Honest.
But
Her mother believed what I said
When she told her what I said
That I really didn’t say
Even though some pit bulls do need muzzles,
But it wasn’t what I said
In the way that she said what I said,
Still
It could have been true, symbolically, on some suburbia-Freudian-like level,
But it wasn’t what I said.
I had actually just seen a pit bull at the same time she was asking about Christmas dinner at her mother's;
Honest.
But
Her mother said what I said was typical of a heathen man
Who’d say what I said without any regard for God fearing people’s feelings.
Honest, that’s what she said about what I said that I really didn’t say.
How pit bullish is that?
And I know what she said
Because my wife told me what she said about what I said
That I really didn’t say,
Even though it could have been a true statement, or a borderline figure of speech perhaps,
And I can’t say I didn’t have a half-second thought of the similarities … at the time … of mother-in-law and my most feared canine,
But
It’s not what I said even though I’d say it now,
With great conviction,
If it didn’t mean sleeping on the couch, for weeks,
Because I didn’t say it the way she took it,
Honest.
But
She said because of what I said,
That I really didn’t say,
She was going to mother’s,
Alone,
Without me.
She said she knew what I said is what I said because my smile gave me away when I said her mother was a pit bull needing a muzzle.
Honest.
Now
I prayed about what I said and how she could think that what I said was really what I said,
And
That she might have a point about what I said maybe being what I said, kind of, sort of.
Because God reminded me of a brief half second when I thought I was just smiling in my mind at the mother-in-law - pit bull parallels.
So I told my wife what I said could have been what I said in a behind the scenes subliminal kind of way.
So she said what I said about what I said was kind of weak in a non-committal kind of way, with a smirk.
What I thought, I promise I didn’t speak, even though I had just seen an acorn fall off a tree in our front yard. My bottom lip silently bled.
But
She said that she loved me
Regardless of what I said about what I said
About the pit bull and her mother
And was proud that I prayed
And confessed, even part way.
Though I thought it was a pretty good admission of possible guilt from a husband’s point of view knowing full well her mother was a pit bull needing a muzzle.
But
I said I loved her too.
So
She said that was good because we were both going to her mother’s for Christmas and I was going to buy her a very nice present.
I thought about a smile again.
And
She said,
Without a smile,
It wouldn’t be a muzzle.
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