Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Cyber Communication (email, IMís, etc) (11/04/10)

TITLE: Philippe and Penelope: Classical Tweet?
By Henry Clemmons
11/08/10


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 SEND ARTICLE TO A FRIEND
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

My love focused was once an arrow flamed
Now quenched and blind by torrent tweets from you
How crude to thrust a blade from distant aim
Your weaponís cold but accuracy true

I would have thought such dainty fingers kind
Petite so far away from scorn-like crass
To read such callused frost I froze in time
My Droid fell silent from ice bitten hands

But love can die even in castle gray
Itís penned a thousand times in lifeís sonnets
I would prefer honesty face to face
Yet lips can be as sharp and deftly cut

So whether in a park or by a tweet
I still stroll lonely your abandoned street

- Sir Philippe

- Lady Penelope

I hate my sisterís tweet tore us apart
I hope my words by pen will reach your heart

Though lies have flown in guise of cyber truth
I have not moved away from castle sight
Your touch will ever spark my memíries mood
But love thatís true will fight for breath and life

My Torch is gone along with my broadband
Forgiveness will be hard for sisterís sake
Yet still I want for strength holding my hand
My health is frail and future dim on days

My love for you is true there is no doubt
In fevered daze I see you on my street
My mindless sis thought she was helping out
It was not I that thrust those awful tweets



The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 556 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Marita Vandertogt11/12/10
This reads like a Shakespearean sonnet - very nicely done. Love the ending.. classical twist. Great entry!
Gregory Kane11/12/10
Positively delightful.
I don't know but to me the word Broadband didn't sit comfortably with either the rhythm or the tone of the poetry.
That aside, I loved the sheer imagination and romance.
Beth LaBuff 11/13/10
Your eloquence and use of the language amazes me. Your words flow with the gracefulness of the Masters of the past, and yet I enjoyed discovering the references to modern technology in this, "tweets," "cyber," and "Droid" etc, Move over Shakespeare, there's a new "kid" on the block. :)
Verna Cole Mitchell 11/13/10
So clever! I chuckled when I tried to read the last line aloud. You do have a way with words!
Laury Hubrich 11/14/10
Excellent!
Caitlyn Meissner11/15/10
I'm afraid I had to read this twice before I realized who was doing the talking. After that I really enjoyed it. I like how you modernized this sonnet. Great job!
Catrina Bradley 11/15/10
Your lovely sonnet reads well both ways. :) Nice job on the topic.
Barbara Lynn Culler11/17/10
Beautifully written. In my Level One opinion, I think you were very much on topic!
Loren T. Lowery11/17/10
I love work that makes me think, and this made me think. Possibly I'm reading too much into it, however. Could there be a lesson here - regarding true love. It judges not, nor would it be judged. I think your MC (once he turns the corner of that street he's on) will discover this.
Rachel Phelps11/17/10
Oh, this is excellent. Henry, I greatly respect your poetic talent, and you consistently provide wonderful entries for us. Well done!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 11/17/10
Wow there is so much said in these few lyrical words. Well done you are a master poet.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 11/18/10
Congratulations for placing 8th in level 4 and 12th overall!
Ada Nett11/21/10
I really enjoy reading your work!