The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 433 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
11/06/10
Really intriguing story, but it seems like maybe you needed more words to tell it fully. The ending was totally unexpected and threw me off - I had to read the story a 2nd time. A clue or two as to the time (I'm guessing future) would help. I'd love to see this story expanded and the writing tightened up a bit. I like this character's spunk, and that she found the courage to stand up (literally) for her beliefs no matter what happens.
I really enjoyed this futuristic story. You did a great job with the voice of the MC.
Just a quick note I guessed that it was set in the future in the first paragraph when you said the MC just wanted to get through until a computer told her what her job would be. I know it's hard to be limited by the word count and hope I wasn't assuming too much:)
Great idea for a story, though you left it kind of rough in spots. I still enjoyed it, though, especially the ending. I'd love to know what happens next.

And as the for the MC's name, I think it would look better with a "C" instead of a "K". But then, I'm partial to Caitlyn's with C's. ;)
11/09/10
I really like this concept, but I agree that it needed more words. Had me interested all the way.