How loudly must I plead, O Lord,
Before my prayer is heard?
How can my anguish be ignored
From judgments not incurred?
My soul is sodden with dismay
From debts I must abide,
While all my daydreams drift away
Upon the evening tide.
Am I outnumbered by the meek,
Whose steadfast faith inspires?
Or has my inner voice grown weak
From counting vain desires?
There must be failings, I surmise,
For which I must atone
Before you hearken to the cries
Of one who weeps alone.
Can selfless deeds unseal my fate?
What is required of me?
No earthly task would be too great
To set my spirit free.
The hope grows cold within my heart
And music flees my soul
As each new journey you impart
Strays further from my goal.
But I await your silent voice
Beneath this dismal sky
And struggle with the final choice—
To curse my life or die.
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