The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
03/11/10
Oh my, what an opening thought, "….love….It doesn’t always correlate with a casket purchase." I had to smile at the "one step up from the cheapest" (how many times have I done that with something else, so as not to APPEAR cheap!) I love the symbolism between what Cora considered her husband, "small man, didn't accomplish much" and June's "he carried a lot of other people's burdens" and that "for the love of June" Frank enhances Martin's shoulders! You have so much in here, I loved "the paisley print chair cried in it's own way at her rising" and the "late daffodils" almost to the [month] of June. Yes, heartwarming…and superb in so many ways…
I agree with Beth. Small in stature does not mean that Cora's husband was a "small" man. It seems she missed what a wonderful husband she had. Some great lines in here. I especially liked the paisley chair crack. Well written.
03/13/10
Very, very nice... lovely use of the right words that set the right tones in the exact spot... perfect!
03/13/10
Beautifully written, crammed with so many meaty details in so few words, a veritable feast for the mind! Wonderful!
A very different type of story, but I really enjoyed it. you did a good job making the characters seem so real.
Ooh, this is so good-everything about it.
Dialogue, thoughts, actions. Beautiful! Well done indeed.
03/15/10
Exquisite writing. I loved the line: "June . . .her name forms the beginnings of a kiss" Wonderfully understated throughout.
03/15/10
I really like the contrast you painted between these two sisters. Your description of Cora without describing her was excellent. :)
03/15/10
I believe this is the best you have written to date. In fact, one of the best I have read in a long time. The tenderness, subtle tones, prickly details that reminds us how real it is, and then the story. A real love story told from a unique perspective. Bravo. So very smart and touching. God bless.
03/15/10
I don't think I can add anything, but wanted to say I love it also.
Your characters are so real, I can almost hear them breathing as they speak.
03/15/10
So many great lines in this fantastic piece. I especially loved the line: Cora emitted a noise that traveled past her air-tight lips, out through her nose. I laughed out loud on that one. Such great writing...you set the bar so high.
I agree with all of the above, except my particular most favorite line was "Didn’t accomplish much or leave me much. Pressed particle board will suffice." Which made me laugh out loud. I know a wife who would likely say exactly the same thing about her husband, so it gave me a good chuckle.
This defines "out of the box." Such lovely, lovely writing with so many nuances that are shared as if secrets for the reader to ponder. This is a story I will not forget. Kudos!
03/16/10
As always, I was unable to breathe from the first line until I'd reached the end. What a gift with words you have Lisa!
03/17/10
So glad to see that Cora actually loved her husband, she just had a difficult time showing it. Nice writing, I hope things work out for June.
03/17/10
I liked the ending where Cora did show some feelings for her husband. What a superb job of making us familiar with these characters.
03/17/10
Excellent work! Original and captivating.
03/18/10
Lisa, if I could string the words like you do...
What an entry! What characters. Just superb in every way. An EC for sure.

Mona
03/18/10
Lisa, what a wonderful piece. And to think I actually know you. As Connie said, the bar is very high.
Happy Dancin' with you!!!!
03/18/10
Congrats Lisa and June! I was excited to see this on the EC list!
03/18/10
I still think this is one of the best I have ever read here. If my muse wouldn't have messed you up last week, you would have had an almost perfect quarter. felicidades. God bless.
03/18/10
Lisa, this was MARVELOUS! Others have said it so much better than I. It seemed every sentence was filled with nuances that were delightful. I felt I was a mouse observing it all myself, it was so real. Absolutely enchanting and so well deserving of your award! (This bar is too high for me! LOL)
03/18/10
Congrats on the EC! Wonderful!
03/18/10
Lisa, I feel like there are layers of meaning underneath your prose. I want to read this piece over and over, because I'm sure I'll see something new each time. Your writing holds depth, and your words are poetry. Congratulations on your EC - you deserve it.
Lisa, this is so wonderfully wrought the reader hungers for more. I agree that you have such a way with words. Wow! Congratulations on another EC!
03/18/10
Congratulations on your EC, Lisa!
03/18/10
Oh, Lisa, I'm awed by this! It's so deep, so rich, so multi-layered... Wow. Many, many congratulations!
03/18/10
Wow. Oh wow. Very nuanced with little details that revealed the characters. Congrats on a well deserved EC.
03/19/10
Congratulations, Lisa on a well-deserved win! Your gift for words is amazing....
03/21/10
A belated congratulations Lisa! And I think by all the comments before, you can see what an impact this had on everyone. The characters and details are what really stood out for me. I'll save it to my favourites and use it as a learning tool!!
Hello Lisa, this is taken out of life so glorioussly ! If I close my eyes...I can almost feel the presence of the speakers. Bless you for it, and Congratulations.
IT has been long for me recuperating. So now (in June)I caught up with you in this good narrative. You are so clear and the words are brilliant....Lord Bless you and all your writings Amen.