Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Green (10/22/09)
TITLE: The Rise and Fall of the GEICO Gecko
By Catrina Bradley
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At one time, the entire television-viewing population of the United States knew my name. Well, not my name, exactly. No one ever cared to ask. It's Martin, by the way, just in case you give a fig.
I was popular with the masses, and even those who didn't care for my flavor of humor knew me on sight. They welcomed me into their homes night after night, sometimes as often as nine times during prime time alone. I made them laugh; I made them smile; I brought joy to their homes.
When the next big thing came long, the newest face on the block, I was relegated to second string...and eventually cast away like last week's tuna casserole.
Oh, if only I could turn back the clock and relive the 90's - my glory years. I'd even settle for the early double-aught's when I shared the stage with the Neanderthals. Did you know one network actually signed those uneducated posers to star in their own sitcom? Appalling. Even though their show was quickly cancelled, it was the beginning of the end for this lizard.
By 2015, the never-ending letter-writing campaigns and obnoxious e-mail petitions and slews of angry phone calls had convinced that network to bring back the cavemen. Or possibly they just wanted to stop the madness. In any case, Nielsen families loved them, ratings flew off the charts, and yours truly, Martin the GEICO Gecko, fell to the wayside.
I'm convinced a conspiracy is afoot. I've emailed, texted, and Facebooked Kermit to get his opinion, but he has yet to get back to me. He is nearing retirement years; maybe he's just willing to go gently into that good night.
You see, when the whole eco-biased "green" brainwashing rigmarole was revealed for what it really was and a certain eco-politician was humiliated before the Supreme Court, "Green" was no longer in vogue, to put it mildly. "Green" was out, and all things green along with it.
Sometimes, when I catch sight of a shooting star, I wish I were a salamander.
The GEICO Gecko is a trademark of GEICO.
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