The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
09/03/09
I loved reading about this father and daughter but shocked at what happened to Laney. So sad but very well written.
This story is so powerful it took my breath. It's masterful on so many levels, with exactly the right word and phrase presented to show the tragic story.
A true paradox for the reader, a tragedy beyond imagining, beautifully written. It is one of those writings where you want to freeze a scene and go back to it to change the outcome; yet you know you can't and must allow the author their leniency. The entire work leaves the reader emotionally tied to the MC and his daughter - the last two paragraphs importantly, is the hope that unites us all.
09/03/09
"Oh no" is what my heart said as the tragedy unfolded.
I loved the light hearted play between the dad and daughter at the beginning. Then sadness and regret for the dad took over as the MC tells his story. Gripping, tender, sad but ends with a hopefilled message. Excellent writing.
09/04/09
You took me on a journey, physically and emotionally. Stupendous.
09/09/09
Tears....
Let me begin with the positive. Those who see the beauty in autumn have given me a new appreciation for this time of year. This piece also managed to educate me.
And now...I hope this wasn't based on a true story. However, I am aware of similar things happening involving hunters in the area I live. I'm glad my experience as a combat medic in Vietnam cured me of ever wanting anything to do with guns.
09/09/09
Your words flow with such a quiet beauty into a deep river of pain, then settling into a pool of grace. I was stunned.
~Cathy~
09/09/09
I appreciate that others have written about the shock in the conclusion. Personally I thought that it worked well. What took me by surprise was the single word 'Dad' about halfway down. Up until then I had imagined a pair of young lovers enjoying a honeymoon trek through the forest. Just shows how readers can come at a piece from different viewpoints
09/09/09
It is always so hard to say "great job" to a story with such a dreadful end. But I have to say your descriptive phrases are beautiful. I loved it all except maybe for the pachyderm part. That seemed a little awkward for me in such a serene wooded scene where they are looking for graceful deer.
What a great piece of writing. You'll place high with this one! Kudos!
Congrats Ann on 3rd place. Wow, this piece is breathtaking and beautiful. I hope that this isn't based on a true story that involved anyone you know as this is so tragic. The relationship shown between dadddy and daughter is wonderfully described through dialogue, a couple of imaginative minds going for a walk in the woods. I wanted so to erase the accident part as it is so heart wrenching and was a complete suprise, but this worked in the story and the hope of eternity flowed smoothly through the conclusion.
What a lovely piece Ann. Thanks for sharing this with us.
09/10/09
I have tears in my eyes as I write this. I don't think I breathed for at least a minute when I realized the Dad had shot his precious little girl. The forgiveness and grace in the end of the story was wonderful. Congratulations on your level placing and your EC.
09/10/09
Wow. Very well done. Congratulations.
Incredible writing...this piece truly moved me. Congratulations on your high placement.
Spellbinding all the way to the tragic moment. Beautifully written with wonderful imagery. Congratulations on your EC!