The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
05/28/09
Mom sounded a little daft in the beginning, but she was one smart cookie by the end. Really good story—obviously written by someone who knows something about painting as well as writing.
Mom a "second rate" artist? I think not! She notices everything; and though her style might have an avant garde flair it still makes one pause to stop and consider the depth of her work. Your young protagonist reminds me so much of my own daughter at that age. You captured the teenage angst of an obedient, smart daughter slightly "tinted" with just the right color of curious, explorative, respectful rebellion. Sap green, what a glorious color. Your word choices throughout strongly reminded me of a Monet. I could see the entire scene neatly framed.
Your story was so good...vivid...realistic and it revealed the wisdom of a mom. Well done.
05/30/09
Teenagers never realize that moms know all. (I know I didn't as a teen.) Love the details - they make your story POP, as mom would say. :) Very good!
06/01/09
Oh, this was excellent--a very creative way to deal with the topic! :) I loved your colorful descriptions, the clever bits of humor, and Mom's wisdom!

GREAT writing! :D
06/02/09
Now why can't I be a mom like that? She knows how to have fun and still manages to turn that fun into a life lesson. I would take comfort in it being a figment of your imagination, but I actually know moms like that :) What a great story, and so well told!
06/02/09
That mom is one wise lady--and as always, your unique writer's voice astounds me. You're a genius with the little details...the peonies, the orange gingham shirt...these are what distinguish writing from typing.
06/02/09
I didn't know you knew my mother. That's exactly what she would have worn on this type of outing. And peonies were some of her favorite flowers (mine too for that matter). Every aspect of this story felt genuine. You let it unfold in an unhurried manner, which is difficult sometimes with only 750 words. Thanks for writing this delightful story about this wise momma.
Oooooeey Lisa, I love this. Mom notices everything. She sees right through! Very good.
06/03/09
You did it again, you caught me hook,line and sinker. I loved this. I enjoyed the fact that a 17-year old would actually make the effort to go along (even reluctantly) when she really didn't want to. And it's a good thing, she would have missed out on a great lesson(s). Good job!
Watch out, Lisa, your well-rounded knowledge is showing as well as your creativety! I much enjoyed this piece. Jackie O retro stuff. teehee.
06/03/09
Priceless.
I loved the little details, and the tie in to the topic was genius. Perfect last line; perfect title:)Loved the whole thing.
06/03/09
Absolutely wonderful!! I was so hoping someone would think of writing about chiaroscuro. Thanks for a vivid, entertaining, and very well written story!
06/03/09
Ooh, GOOD! I absolutely adored this! Glad I didn't miss the read. I liked the Mom and I liked the way you painted the Teenage MC. Boy, can I relate to that. lol. I loved how you described the flowers and how they painted together. Great stuff-and a very cute, catchy title!
06/03/09
Found this interesting - made me think about my kids and their self-will when they were
teenagers.
Thanks for the reminder - they turned out wonderful!

Colin
06/03/09
I like your exquisitely woven story from the French title to the "channeling Jackie O" sentence! :) Great, great work!
More! This reads like a chapter in a coming of age novel. I thoroughly enjoyed the read. Tow thumbs WAY up.
06/03/09
All about the relationships and you give the reader a POV from daughter to mother and mother to daughter. Pulling that off is difficult. But, it made this one so rich and classic.
Loved it.
Mona
Bravo! This is so good to see, though not entirely unexpected. Beautiful piece, exquisitely told.
I loved reading this. Very wisely written with just enough ingredients to make this one stand out from a dark backdrop.:0) Great job!!
Congratulations too on your win-EXCELLENT!!
06/04/09
You captured a "real teenager" and a "really smart mom!" Very well-written...congratulations!
06/04/09
Lisa, I knew I was going to see this in the winner's circle today when I first read it! It is a masterpiece painted with your wonderful words!! :) CONGRATULATIONS!!
06/04/09
Excellent writing! I was totally caught up in the scene and you portrayed the mother/daughter issues superbly too. Congratulations Lisa!
06/04/09
Loved the voice of the MC-very real and typical of teenage girls. I never have time to read all the entries before the rankings come out--glad yours placed as I always enjoy your writing. Congrats.
06/04/09
Congratulations, Lisa. Superb writing as usual!
06/04/09
What a masterpiece! I wanna paint with words too...you got it girl!
Congratulations on recognition for this wonderfully written piece. Your writing never disappoints. Your details flesh out a tremendous story every time.