Department of Happy Endings: Brother Grimm speaking. May I help you?
Yes, this is Snow White and I want to go back to before.
You canít be serious.
Oh, Iím serious all right. Our wedding is tomorrow and Iíve got to get out of here before Iím stuck for life.
Let me get this straight. You want to go back to before.
Youíd better believe it.
But, why would you want to go back? Youíre about to become a princess. You have servants. You live in a castle. You have no bills to pay. You donít have to clean up after the dwarves anymore and the Wicked Witch is gone forever.
Look, Brother Grimm: have you ever been engaged to a prince?
I canít say I have.
Well, itís no bowl of cherries; I can tell you that much.
What do you mean? Heís a handsome prince; what could be so bad?
Look, heís handsome. Iíll grant you that. But heís a real dud.
Totally. The guy doesnít lift a finger to do a thing for himself. Heís always lounging around the house or out riding his horses. Iím used to living with seven guys who go off to work every day. Before I met the prince I might have had to take care of the dwarvesí house but at least they said thank you. And we sat around the table after dinner and played music every evening.
And whatís life like with the Prince?
All he wants to do after dinner is watch jousting. Iím tired of watching jousting. I donít even understand the rules. Once in a while, thereís a jester at court but they arenít even that funny. I mean: Dopey was funnier than some of these guys. We never even go to parties. And the Prince has a temper.
Yeah, he makes Grumpy look like a pussycat. The minute anything goes wrong he starts to yell. Look, itís not that Iím not grateful. After all, heís a hottie and the castle is a nice place to live. I realize lots of other girls would love to be in my place. So, send one of them.
You really want to go back to before?
Yes, I do. My ďhappily ever afterĒ isnít all itís cracked up to be.
OK, Iíll send you back. Thereíll be a carriage outside in half an hour and it will take you back to the forest.
Thanks, Brother. Grimm. I really appreciate it. I canít wait to get back to the dwarves. Doc was going to teach me about herbal medicine and Happy was Ö
Listen, Snow White; Iím going to have to hang up. Iíve got Sleeping Beauty on the other line and she sounds like she hasnít slept in weeks.
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