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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Before and After (05/14/09)

TITLE: Phoenix Rising
By Ruth Neilson
05/19/09


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Twin brothers,
Stand tall,
Embracing the sun.

They stand,
Bracing against the brutal elements.
Bitter snow and pelting rains,

Coming and going--
In and out;
Their populations went.

A small city,
Within the City;
No man would ever match them.

Ill winds howled,
That early September morning.
But, nothing seemed wrong.

The elder brother shrugged
Looking over at the younger.
"It's nothing to worry about."

"We've stood through storms before;
So, just stand tall, Baby brother.
Our citizens are depending on us."

Metal bird fell from the sky,
Striking the Elder
Shuddering, he belched hot flames.

Screams filled the air.
His citizens were in danger!
Could they get out?

Another projectile struck the Younger.
His scream filled the air.
The earth shook and groaned.

Elder wheezed, "Stay strong."
And the Younger nodded.
The world threatened to spin.

"Must keep standing,"
The younger moaned.
"Must protect my citizens!"

His strength finally failed.
With a mighty groan,
The Younger collapsed.

The Elder wept;
His twin was gone!
Metal tears fell into the sky.

He shuddered, determined
To give his citizens more time.
They had to get out—to stay safe!

But, he couldn't stay standing any longer.
He groaned and followed the path of his brother
Down to the ground.

The Twin's citizens emerged from the rubble.
Dazed humanoid statues.
Dusted in their city's life blood.

Strangers became family,
The twin's ultimate sacrifice
Now coming to fruition.


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This article has been read 570 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Loren T. Lowery05/21/09
I'm not always the best at understanding poetry and its meaning, but in this I find an impassioned exaltation on the fall of the Twin Towers on 9/11; and the conclusion in the last stanza is perfect.
Emily Gibson05/22/09
Powerfully told.
Verna Cole Mitchell 05/23/09
You've presented a very creative take on the topic.
Myrna Noyes05/24/09
I love your title, and your piece fits this week's topic perfectly. This part especially touched me: "The Elder wept;
His twin was gone!
Metal tears fell into the sky."

Very creative!

Pat Guy 05/24/09
Yes, very creative and well written. Very well written!
Patricia Herchenroether05/24/09
Wow! A really creative take on the topic. Very nice.
Noel Mitaxa 05/24/09
I appreciated the depth of your succinctness and how you matched the sudden, chilling brutality of 9/11 with the element of hope that leapt out from your conclusion. Thank you so much.
Mona Purvis05/25/09
It took me reading twice and reading a comment to get it. I am not the fastest horse in the race.
Wonderful! You humanized concrete and steel to tell the ultimate human story.
Mona
Carol Slider 05/26/09
A creative and evocative portrait of 9/11... very moving and sorrowful at the same time. Well done!
Janice Fitzpatrick05/27/09
Very well done! I like the characterization and life you gave to the twin towers. May we always remain in prayer for those families and friends who lost loved ones that day. Keep up you writing. Great job!!