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“Mom, I need new clothes”
“What about all those clothes in your closet?”
“Honestly, Mom! They’re all out.”
“Out?”
“Yes, all of them are out. I need stuff that’s in.”
“Why?”
“Well, you don’t want me to be out, do you?”
“Perish the thought.”
“Mom, you don’t understand. You’re such a dorkasaurus. You dress like it’s the Middle Ages. Being in is what it’s all about.”
“Well, that may be, but you have a closet full of perfectly good clothes and I have a pile of bills to pay, so I don’t see me shelling out money for new clothes.”
“So I have to be out?”
“I’m afraid so, unless you want to get a job to pay for your new clothes.”
“Getting a job is out.”
“It’s out? Well, I have a job – so I must be out.”
“Well, of course you’re out. You’re a parent.”
“And parents are automatically out?”
“Totally.”
“No parent is ever in?”
“Puh-leez.”
“OK, so I’m out. But why are jobs out?”
“Well, for one thing, it would take all my free time. If I had no free time, I wouldn’t be able to hang out with my friends or have any fun. So, even if I got enough to buy new clothes, I couldn’t wear them anywhere. So, why bother?”
“Why bother, indeed?”
“Yeah, well, Mom… isn’t there anything you can do? My clothes are hopeless.”
“They weren’t hopeless two months ago, when you begged me to get those new ones for you.”
“Well, of course not. They were in, then.”
“So how can they be out already?”
“I don’t know. They just are. You just don’t get it.”
“I guess not. Well, I’m sorry, kid. You’re just going to have to soldier on with your out clothes. Just think: at this rate, in a few months, they’ll even be retro.”
“Oh, Mom, you’re hopeless. I’m in for such a tough time with these clothes”
“I know you; you’ll figure something out.”
“Like what?”
“Well, you’re popular. Wear those out clothes proudly and I’ll bet the other kids will think they’re in, again.”
“Well, it’s worth a try. I guess robbing a bank is out.”
“Not unless you want to end up in jail. Think of what you’d be wearing then.”
“Ugh. No way. Black and white stripes would make me look fat. I guess I’ll make the best of it.”
“Good for you. Now you’re in the right frame of mind.”
“Hey, speaking of frames, my glasses….”
“Don’t even start.”
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