The Official Writing Challenge
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05/02/09
Powerful writing that conveys the intensity of emotion. I like the way that you set your story in the forced isolation of a car ride through a storm, an excellent backdrop to what's building up on the inside.
05/03/09
Your description of freeway travel on a rainy Seattle afternoon is totally authentic!! I liked these lines especially: "The freeway is a flowing river of steel: a current of head and tail lights. Semitrucks toss up tsunami waves cleared briefly by my wipers frantically whacking back and forth."

When your MC first saw her dad with the auburn-haired woman in his truck, I was hoping her mom had just dyed her hair or something!

I like the "steel inside my pillow" way of blending hard and soft!
05/04/09
The pain we hold onto. So many things that are steel in our pillow. The longer I live, the more I appreciate a good night's sleep.
Mona
You captured your MC's emotions very well. What a shock it must have been to actually witness this, but you made it real.
You did a wonderful job with something so close to you. I know those deep hurts can be tough to share.

I liked your imagery in it all. Very vivid. Well done.
05/04/09
Superb imagery in your title and in the last paragraph! This is excellent.
05/04/09
Wow. You are my neighbor this week...

As for your writing, it is perfect...amazing, really. The heartfelt honesty pierces me, which has come at a great cost to you in this instance. Thank you for writing it.
05/04/09
This is amazing writing. Your descriptions are vivid and the title / ending are perfect for the subject. Knowing from your hint that this piece has a basis in fact makes it all the more poignant. It must have been very difficult to write. Thanks for sharing it.
05/04/09
Icredible imagery here...and I loved the title. Fantastic writing...
05/04/09
I'm very sorry for your pain.

I think you did an excellent job. The whole scene in the car felt real and sharp.

Blessings to you, friend.
Wonderful writing. The imagery throughout is very powerful. I was a little confused with the last line, but I'm pretty dense. EXCELLENT! (And so sorry you had to experience this!)
05/04/09
Emily, this must have been difficult to write. Thank you for sharing your pain in this well-written piece.
05/04/09
You really made this story come to life. I could see your Dad through foggy, rain soaked windows...and I hoped you wouldn't crash on the freeway.

Amazing writing - sorry it had to be true.