The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/02/09
I like the dialogue between the violin and its player. Sometimes I'm sure there must be a type of commingling between an instrument and its master. love this line, "A haunting song, filled with longing for a rescue."
05/04/09
This is a unique take on the topic, using the technique of the musician to illustrate the hard/soft theme, but taking it the next step. I really like your redemption message in this context, so that even the hardest/harshest sounds resolve into the soft comfort of redemption. Very thought provoking and meaningful.
Being a musician (not of this caliber, of course), I could understand the frustration of this composer-kind of the same way when I write. Really enjoyed the interaction between the two of them as creativity is often alive, breathing, and like a conversation. You did very well with "show" vs "tell" Great job.
05/04/09
A world without redemption...where would I be? Very deep piece.
Mona
I kept thinking of our Creator as I read this piece. Creation, man's fall, the flood, and on until Jesus going to the cross, and the triumph of conquering death and the grave as He paid the price for my sin.

Beautiful!
05/04/09
Gorgeous allegory! I suspect that "G major" is "God Major", yes? Loved it, and I can just imagine the music in the background, too.
05/04/09
This is beautiful. It has so many layers of meaning. Excellent!
05/04/09
Creative piece with some beautiful images.

Red ink: A couple of typos (losing and to, not too). Also there are a few awkward sentence constructions that I thought did not fit in with the rhythm of the piece. One example: "There was a variation occurred hidden deep within the layers of the music, a promise?" I'll be glad to PM you with more if you like.
So many things I like about this story. I assume the instrument was possibly a cello and I like the symbolism of the bow and instrument forming a cross. Beautiful writing in every way.
05/06/09
Make me sing. It begged.
That's a lovely image.

A lot of strong feelings and conflict conveyed here. Great atmosphere.

Well done.
You show an excellent analogy in this beautifully written piece.
Very unique approach. Like it.
05/06/09
Gorgeous...
Loved it!