Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Hot and Cold (04/09/09)
By Sharon Kane
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Three weeks later
I don't know who the judges were this week but they sure need their heads read! Placing that pathetic story about the mouse and the elephant first? Bah! Have they no taste? I write a masterpiece about the majesty of God's creation and it doesn't even place. Don't they appreciate good writing when they see it? These people are clearly unworthy of my participation. Perhaps I should start my own writers' forum? It can't be that difficult to organise after all. Hmm, I'll ponder that some more. Interesting topic this week: Space. I feel the creative juices flowing already...
One week later
Yes! Yes! Yes! They loved it! I knew they would! Whoopee! This is the hottest writer's forum in the world. Look at that lovely rosette: second place, level one. Obviously I'd have preferred first place, but I must admit the winning entry was outstanding. Intermediates here I come! And of course there aren't many entrants in level two. I'll blink and wake up in advanced! Hallelujah! Thank you Jesus! Thank you judges! You are wonderful, wonderful, all of you are just wonderful!
Two weeks later
That's that! I'm never entering this stupid competition ever again! I leave all those lovely comments and what do I get back? 'This left me cold'. How dare she? I'm telling you, this whole game leaves me cold. Hypocrites the lot of them. They talk about loving one another and then go and stab you in the back. OK, it had some stylistic weaknesses but I wrote it straight from the heart. She mustn't have a heart at all! If only she could come listen to Pastor Bill. He'd give her what for! That sermon he preached on Sunday all about building one another up in love. Some of these guys could sure do with hearing more about that! And to think of the hours I've wasted on this wretched addiction, when I could have been having coffee with my real friends. Not to mention having to pay to get PMs. What a waste that is! I'll send my money to Oxfam in future. I'm done with Faithwriters. I'm going to start living again!
Three months later
OK, I admit it, I'm back. I couldn't resist checking the site, just to see what the new quarterly theme was. And the rush of inspiration that came! Wow! It can only have been the Holy Spirit himself. Pastor Jakes spoke such sense on God channel yesterday. How did he put it? 'God doesn't need followers who blow hot and cold. He needs people who are in it for the long haul.' I have to admit I could use some improvement there. What better place to practise than in cyberspace, hey? OK Lord, here's the deal. I'll spend a maximum fifteen hours a week on the challenge so I still have time to go to church and all that. I'll not get ruffled when I get nasty comments and I'll only leave nice ones back. That will help with the turn the other cheek business. I won't get riled when I don't win – then I'll grow in humility won't I? (Let's face it, this is only a game!) Lastly I'll pray over my entries so I only write what is glorifying to you and helpful to others. Oh, this is going to be awesome! Become a great writer and a holy woman all in one go. At this rate I'll be ready for heaven in no time!
Author's note. This was written with no intentional reference to any particular challenge entry or any individual competitor. The only person I am poking fun at is myself.
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