The Official Writing Challenge
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What a sad picture you've painted of the innate yearning for the one true God and the confused mind of a child concerning a multitude of gods. Well done.
04/09/09
I liked this story but was hoping for the child to find answers for her confused heart. The ending seemed a bit rushed after Abba yanked the child from the swing.
04/12/09
Very vividly written and intriguing. It would be interesting to know more of the story!
04/12/09
Fascinating and compelling reading. The only thing I wanted was a little more context--where and when was this taking place?

I loved the writing, and your delicate characterization.
I was so sad for the child at the end. Sad for Abba too. I'd like to hear more of the story. Did she find the One True God? Did she find forgiveness with Abba?
04/13/09
How sad to think so many children's God-given consciences are defiled by man-made wisdom.
04/13/09
Your story compelled me to read to the end, I was really drawn in. It's probably just me, but I felt lost when I got to the end, I just didn't quite "get it".
04/13/09
Very good writing--you drew me into this little girl from the beginning. I want more of the story--so many unanswered questions.
04/13/09
I wanted to run over and protect Hanna. What I felt was her need to escape and feel free and his need to confine her. Interesting.
Mona
This was well written and kept my attention all the way through. Found it so sad to not know the Lord and being forbidden to enjoy a swing and receiving meanness for being on it.
The details in this piece are wonderful. I didn't quite understand it all, but that doesn't take away from the fact that it's well written.
I can see how this could be part of a bigger piece. It does stand well on its own though as a snippet in time. It seemed as though Hannah's heart would be tender for the gospel, but compound living would not allow that. Very intense piece. Great reading.
04/15/09
I can't wait till we can read it in context. Very well done, I was riveted to the scene.
04/15/09
You really made swings seem ominous. Vivid descriptions. This was riveting.
I would definitely like to see an expanded version of this story and read more. What you have here grabbed my attention and left me asking questions and wanting more. Good job!