The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
03/07/09
The contrast between temples and the homes of people is so hard to understand. I had to smile at the "I can find that in a travelers' guide too." :) There are definitely revolting things that go on (all over the world). You've made this informative story entertaining to read.
03/08/09
Peter, this is very good. The format you used worked well--informative, but not like just reading a report. Good job with the topic, and glad to see you back. :)
03/08/09
I really liked how you structured this--how "Mrs. Walker" encouraged the narrator to tell her more than what she could find in a guidebook. Very well done and informative about both the good and bad in Bangkok.
03/08/09
The smells, the heat, the pollution, the noise.....all things you cannot get from a travelers brochure. Also, the love of fellow Christians. I'm glad your mc really got to know the country by meeting some believers there.

03/08/09
I like the honest view of the interviewee, but I don't really like Mrs. Walker. She was right tho - the things that aren't in the guidebook were the most fascinating and compelling parts of your story, and I'm glad she pressed him to open up. Good entry! But I think it might have been even better if you'd made it a first-person narrative focusing on those lesser-known particulars.
A well written challenge entry. It's hard to remember events when you're tired and Mrs Walker irritated me, but she did draw out the information.

I'd love to hear more about your trip (I'm guessing you were the MC). Maybe you could start a new blog :-)

“Some things made me mad. We saw a few middle aged Western men sitting with their arms draped all over skinny Thai boys. Yes! That makes me mad too, Peter. The fact that they are allowed to get away with it is something I will never understand.



03/09/09
Definitely didn't like Mrs. Walker's attitude, but I love the way it worked to our advantage - to get those incredible details out! Great read!
This was good. It irritated me a bit that the interviewer didn't leave your MC alone when he asked if he could do it another time. But that's a reporter for you, eh?
Nice job on this story.
03/10/09
Your format was superb for getting so much information into the word limit. I liked your prtrayal of the good, the bad and the ugly. I sympathise with Mrs Walker cutting in on the MC; we missionaries do have a tendency to waffle on! But insisting on interviewing them immediately they got back?! I would give a very un-Christian response if someone tried that on me!!
03/10/09
Ooooh, I was so irritated with Mrs. Walker!
03/11/09
This is good. An interesting way of handling all that information, I did like it and I especially liked the last paragraph best of all.
03/12/09
This is outstanding. An incredible format for sharing the not so beautiful things in this country, and for getting a message across at the same time. Very realistic interview too.