The Official Writing Challenge
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01/22/09
Aww... the story just got started! Great beginning to an exciting adventure. Well written.. it kept me interested and wanting more.
01/23/09
So glad this had a happy ending....or beginning, whichever you call it. Good job! Very engaging to the end.....or
I really enjoyed reading your story and finding the "second chance" at the end.
01/25/09
Sounds like a novel in the making!

Your title may have given away the ending, just a bit.

Romance lovers will really enjoy this one.
01/25/09
I like the sweet twist at the end...awww. Nicely done!
01/25/09
This could easily be the intro to an Aussie Romance. I loved it - adventure, heartbreak, hope, and a strong heroine & dashing would-be hero. :)
01/25/09
You captivated me with her story from the start. I'm glad Grady was still there… now what happens? "encore"
Awe, how sweet. He was ok after all.
Your descriptions of how she was feeling and her plight were done so well.
01/26/09
Wonderful descriptions, and such a captivating read. I hope you continue this!
01/26/09
I loved the ending! (I'm a sucker for good romance....) It might be helpful to clue the reader in to the nature of their relationship rather than just the phrase "her brother's friend"....that would build the anticipation and hope that Grady would surface. Definitely a story that could be expanded. Nice work!
I agree that this feels like only a small piece of what could be a much larger work. What you have here is great though. Thanks for sharing.
01/28/09
I agree with Leah's critique. If there is no established relationship then it seems very trite of her to be swept away just at the sight of him. And would he not be asking after her father and brother instead of whispering unmentionables? ;)
This is solely my opinion, but I think this story would be better if her betrothed (or whatever) Grady was the one swept out to sea and she thought she had lost him. Starting off with something so huge as losing a father and brother feels to me like it should be the focal point.. you can't just gloss over something like that... and you only have 750 words. ;)

I could be way off base .. but I'd love to see this story re-worked and
re-defined. If it is a romance then really zero in on that so it can be developed with more impact and believability.

Just my 2 cents and I hope I have been of some help. Keep writing!

Finally, and this may seem like a pedestrian point but ... I LOVE the names you chose. Bella-Rose and Grady. Seriously swoon-worthy. ;)
Names matter! They really do!! Scarlett O'Hara was originally Pansy O'Hara, if you can imagine that!:)