What is the reason for the season?
Well, lots of times it’s allergies. I don’t exactly know the medical terms for all this, but stuff in the air gets inside your nose, and it just itches and itches and itches. Or sometimes people just have a cold, and they can’t help it. Oh yeah, and also it happens all the time if you’re one of Snow White’s dwarfs.
You misunderstood me. That’s the reason for the sneezin’. What is the reason for the season?
Oh, pardon me. Well, it’s simple. When you’re not sure if a melon is ripe enough, it’s a great way to find out. They say it works for peaches, too, but in my opinion, if you find that peaches are soft, it’s waaaaaaay too late to buy them. Oh, wait! I thought of something else. When you’re in love, it’s a really nice way to show your affection. Kids like it, too—especially if they’ve got a boo-boo.
Good grief. That’s the reason for the squeezin’.
That’s right! Oh, now I know what you’re asking. Y’know, I was pretty good at history, but I’m not sure anyone really understood Benedict Arnold. I suppose it was some sort of misguided loyalty. I mean, really, why would anyone ever betray their country? But if you ask me, he chose the wrong side. Think about it—England’s got some silly game called cricket, and we’ve got real football. Poor ol’ Benedict…
I believe that’s the reason for the treason. You’re still not understanding me. What is the reason for the season?
Oops, sorry. I’ve got you now. It’s usually all in fun, really. Say someone makes a mistake, like wearing one black shoe and one brown shoe. It’s pretty funny, right? So their friends sort of laugh at ‘em a little bit, but not enough to hurt their feelings. Oooh, I remember one time when my friend Linda, she went to sit down but the chair had been moved and she had a soda in her hand and she landed on her, umm, and the pop went all over. We never let her forget that.
That would be the reason for the teasin’. Try again.
Ah. Well, it’s kinda indelicate. But sometimes when I eat too many beans…
Stop! That’s the reason for the breezin’.
I know, right? Broccoli does it, too. But seriously, I know what you’re getting at. It’s scientific, but I think I remember. The temperature goes down, and those molecules or atoms or something start to go real slow, like my Uncle Dexter. He’s ninety-seven years old, can you believe it? Anyway, when the atoms get really, really slow, they stop altogether, and voila! Ice cubes!
I believe you’ve just told me the reason for the freezin’.
Missed it again, huh? I’ve got you now, I promise. I like to think we do it just to make other people feel good. Like when my other friend Cheryl told me she just loved coconut but she never had it because it made her husband barf…sorry, but that’s what she said, and I made her a whole batch of coconut macaroons to have at work. And then Cheryl gave me one because I love them, too, and they don’t make me…well, you know.
Could that be the reason for the pleasin’?
Ummm…yeah. Lemme think now…Oh! Well, it’s that allergy thing again, then. Only when it’s really bad, it goes to the lungs, and it’s just hard to breathe.
Nope. That’s wheezin’.
Isn’t that what you asked?
No. I’ve been asking you—what is the reason for the season?
Why didn’t you say so in the first place? That’s the easiest one of all. It’s like…there was God, and there were all these people. And God loved them a bunch, but they couldn’t find Him, because He was God, you know? They didn’t even get Him. Well, that wasn’t right. And He couldn’t make them gods, but He could make Himself a person. A real, live, little person. Well, it’s a wonderful story—no, that’s not right, it’s the best story ever. Isn't that the coolest? God—a tiny baby!
Did I get it right this time?
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