The Official Writing Challenge
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10/23/08
Wow, what a creative take on the topic. It's wild how the Lord can even take an agnostic and use the Christians and the church or its traditions to grab his or her attention. I pray this happens to a many people I know before it is too late.
10/23/08
That second paragraph had me hooked. What a realistic glimpse at a prequel to salvation...loved it!
10/24/08
The MC in this story is so real--she could be my daughter. There is always hope and prayer. Glad she made the right choice at the end. Yes, I liked this one.
10/25/08
Oh, this is EXCELLENT. Your MC is incredibly authentic, and I love this out-of-the-box approach to the topic. Wow.
10/27/08
I love the way she found herself talking to a God she didn't believe in. Great story.
I love the creative take on the subject and the very real MC. I also like the realization of who she was talking to and the open ending of her taking the loaf to Danny. Great job.
This captures the frustration I've seen played out in real life when one partner gets saved. We assume the other person will be excited, but they feel betrayed and jealous. Great job of bringing this out while opening the door of her heart.
You captured the hippie couple perfectly, as well as the bewilderment when one got saved. The description of their wedding was a "hoot."
Oh, this is very good. There is so much depth in it, and feeling, too. And your last line injects some hope for this pair. I like how such simple things begin breaking down your MC's resistance.
10/27/08
Does it date me if I say I can visualize this wedding? :) I had to smile at the license "online" LOL …and the B minor chords… I understand them completely :) I love that Elyse "talked" to a "god that does not exist". Yay, for the bit of hope at the end.
This is classic Jan...well written and engaging. I like the subtle changes in people toward the end. Well done.
Well done! I can't add much to what others have already commented on but I loved reading it!~You have all the ingredients for a wonderful piece- humor and realism baked with a dash of hope-a great mix. I would like to see this as a short story someday. I can see the characters in my mind. God bless and thank you for sharing your gifts with us.
I love stories where people talk to a God that they don't believe exists. It's a sign that their soul recognizes the truth before their heart and mind does. This is a very well written, excellent piece with wonderful imagery.
This was good. I could feel the MC's frustration.
10/28/08
Ahahaha--seduced him with microphones and B minor chords. One thing about you is, you never disappoint. Hahahah.
10/29/08
This is TRUE - been there and done that - could almost have been me a few days before JESUS. Only one thing - Danny's shirt and tie? (most of us in that counter culture would not have even considered wearing a tie - but, maybe he had a job that required one?)
10/29/08
I was thinking those words right away..."Who are you talking to?"
I think everyone knows there is a God, whether they admit it or not.
I love your subtle character descriptions.
10/29/08
Awesome "Jan writing." Loved it. Very real.
10/29/08
I loved the seduced by microphones...oh...and I was afraid to say sucks...whodda thunk, huh?
Your MC is so authentic, that I could swear she is a real person somewhere that you personally observed yourself. I appreciate how you ended this. You didn't magically make everything turn out perfect, but yet you also gave a glimmer of hope that maybe this woman would someday come to know Jesus herself. Great job, as always.
You have such a talent for putting the reading right in the middle of the scene. And also for making us fall in love with characters that are very different from ourselves or anyone we know. I love that about your writing! This is great.
10/30/08
Excellent work, as always! You have an amazing talent of really putting us into the story and writing about unusual people. I loved it!