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Humans are funny. They live and they die. They laugh and then they cry. But in the end, they all are mine!
You see, no one has been able to solve the riddle that I placed before them back at creation. Adam and Eve both failed to solve the riddle. For that matter, so has everyone since then.
Oh, right...the riddle? You want to know what my riddle is.
Ha ha! That’s funny! I cannot tell you the riddle! Oh, now you want to know why? That’s easy! You, my little friend, were born with this riddle inside of your heart. Think about it. Think long and hard.
Do you have it yet?
No?! Really, you haven’t. I guess that I’ll have to spell it out for you...stupid human. It’s so simple that I can’t believe that you haven’t figured it out.
Riddle me this: how can human’s approach You-Know-Who?
Go ahead; chew on that for a while. I have a few colorful half answers to dangle in front of people.
Hmmm...What plan did I stop?
Oh, yes, now I remember...a dash of denial of You-Know-Who’s son combined with guilt. Now we’re cooking! This rock will be crushed into fine dust. He’ll end up just like my latest guest. Oh, I’m sure you’ll know him. Does the name Judas sound familiar to you?
Ha! I thought it would. Oh, hold that thought...and that face. I have a customer.
What? No! You weren’t suppose—
We had a deal! The stupid humans’ sinned and their souls were mine!
Fine print? What fine print?!
Fine...You can take Your precious saints, they weren’t very fun anyways. They kept on belting out random songs that would give me migraines for days on end. But the rest are still mine.
So, where were we? Oh, that’s right! Your answer to the riddle. Oh, you want to know about that guy?
Oh, he was nothing.
Wait, what do you mean?
He is your answer to the riddle. I can’t believe I’m saying this. Congratulations, you answered the riddle correctly.
Snort
But, be looking over your shoulder because I’ll always be there. You’ve marked yourself as a follower of You-Know-Who, and now I want you for my personal collection!
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