The Official Writing Challenge
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So beautiful and so sad...in a good way :) A young girl I know has just had her second kidney transplant. Children like her, and your MC, always leave me humbled and a little ashamed. This is a very touching piece.
Your beautiful entry touched my heart in the deepest part. I loved the characterization of the nurse and child.
Chely, this is beautiful! And so touching!
08/31/08
Awww, Chely, this is so good! I caught an inkling of the ending early, and I was so glad I was right!
as usual...you deliver again!
superb!
08/31/08
I love the ending! I love happy endings and I love it when God wins again. (: Delightful story.
This is so touching and I loved the characters. Great job!
Oh my goodness, this made me cry. 'Nuff said.
I saw the ending coming but still loved it. I think I would have been disappointed otherwise. The conversation and characterization are A+!
Oh and too, I was a little hesitant to read this one since...well, I'm an Oracle DBA. And the pager just went off...
08/31/08
Love this story. Think you will expand the story? Hmmm...?
08/31/08
What a confident mouthpiece for Christ we find in Lexa. I understand Holly's tears as she wills herself to "put on" the kind of faith that comes so readily for Lexa. But, those tears are valued all the more when I see that it's a movement of God taking place, convicting her to follow Him rather than her work's policy--something that, normally, Holly takes very seriously as we see with the wheelchair in the beginning.
This was so life like toward the middle and the end, very gripping and inspirational.
You made me cry with this beautiful and touching story. WOW, how did you pack so much into so few words. Great writing my friend!
09/01/08
I was thinking that for an alternate ending it would be cool for Holly to browse the babies many years later and see Lexa's baby....then run her finger along the scar that represented her sacrifice for the little girl she loved. Course, I'm the mother-baby nurse so I like those kind of stories! Great job - beautiful writing! :)
09/01/08
Lovely story. It really draws attention to the plight of so many on waiting lists for transplants. Glad this worked out—even if it is fiction. Good work.
09/02/08
I was eating breakfast while reading this, and I had to stop, I couldn't swallow, it stuck in the lump in my throat.
09/02/08
Beautifully done! Touching without being maudlin. Believable, great dialogue, and an ending that leaves me hoping for more.


(Though I must confess my ignorance of the meaning of the word "Oracle" here and in a comment above)
Being able to evoke emotion from the reader is one of the most important (and difficult) things for a writer to try and do in my opinion, and you manage to evoke that emotion within me with every single piece you contribute to the challenge. I have yet to read something of yours and not feel something afterwards.

This is a beautiful story, and even though I predicted the ending before it was over, I was so happy that you took that route and ended it the way you did.

Another superb entry from Michele! :)
You have me in tears... this is something I can relate to so well. My husband was on dialysis for almost 4 years (peritoneal, not hemo) before the Lord lead us to me giving him a kidney. This month we will celebrate 11 years since that day (September 16).

What a great picture of patient faith you painted in Lexa. I wondered if Holly would be the donor, or if down the road Lexa would meet the man of her dreams... :) I'm glad it was Holly, for that is the perfect ending to this wonderful story.
09/04/08
Congratulations, Michele! This is incredible.
09/04/08
Great job, Michele! You've hit anothr homerun on this one. This was a fantastic story. I think we all can learn a little something about faith,trust and patience from this little one. Bravo!
09/04/08
Congratulations on your EC. What a tear-jerker. Great take on the topic.
09/04/08
Congratulations on your EC - great dialogue, realistic characters & you obviously wrote this from the heart. Congrats again.
09/06/08
Congrats on your EC with this! Super writing!!