The Official Writing Challenge
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Very compelling. I could feel it all right along with her.
This is wonderful! What talent you have. This is a winner, for sure!
Wonderful retelling of a wonderful Biblical account. The detail you added was so incredibly rich. So engaging.
Fantastic writing. Vivid description. I could feel the mother's agony right along with her.

One thing - I was really, really confused at the beginning of the story. It wasn't until the other woman came in holding the baby that I was able to make sense of the first two paragraphs. If you extend this (and I highly suggest you should), try to bring some clarity to the beginning circumstances.

Beyond that, this was the first one I've read so far that I felt was positively compelling.
You have presented the Bible story beautifully, so rich with meaning. I loved it.