The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
07/24/08
I couldn't imagine being in a situation like this - but now, thanks to your extremely vivid, poignant writing, I can. Excellent and heartwrenching.
This was written so well that I was sitting right there with there with the mc, waiting for the ring of the phone.
07/28/08
Well told! You kept us in suspense. Great job of keeping the identity of the names obscure by using "Doe". I liked that: Jane Doe, John Doe, Mama Doe. Very cleaver. I am glad in actuality that the unit had moved on and that all were safe...Helen
Great job of reminding us what military families go through. Well written, too. Kudos.
07/28/08
Oh, I was so scared for poor "Mrs Doe"! Thanks for the foot note - before I read it I was sure the phone call was going to be bad news. Truly enjoyed reading this - good writing!!
07/30/08
Wow! I'm so glad this had a happy ending. Too often, it doesn't. I can't imagine the anxiety our military families feel all the time. Thanks for sharing.
07/30/08
OH. MY. GOODNESS. I didn't just sit on the edge of my seat; I fell off! What a great entry. Big time kudos!
07/30/08
Oh my! This was so incredibly real! You did well with the details and the atmosphere, I liked the name of "Doe" that added a kind of twist to the story. I also liked the notes at the end, wow. Good job! ^_^
This is a great emotion packed piece and very well written. I'm glad that in the end all turned out well.
What suspense and tension you built up with this story! I was biting my lip in anticipation of what was going to happen. I'm glad that you had the explanation at the end, otherwise I would have still been wondering what had happened. Great job!