The Official Writing Challenge
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A strong message here told in a very compelling way - nicely woven into this story.
Oooh your last paragraph. Whoa! Terrific. A few spelling errors that spellcheck didn't catch. But, oh, this one is so worth the read. Great message.
This has such a great message. I especially loved the last line. Great writing my friend.
Oh I felt so sorry for David and his little girls. Imagine not being able to have mud fights, or food fights or go stomping in puddles. What a huge contrast. I know which family you made me want to be part of. Great job... loved the final sentence, what a message!
Wonderful job of characterization! I felt as if I knew many of these characters very well--you've done remarkably with that, given the word limits. I was right there at the park with them.

The ending felt a tad rushed and summarized to me, but I loved the touch of irony at the very end.
Thanks you masters for your expertise and encouragement that we writers experience from you, right from starting out as beginners.