So we all know that Little Miss Muffet was a scaredy-cat. After all, she was frightened off by a tiny spider. Even abandoned her oh-so-yummy dinner of curds and whey because of it.
Okay, in her defense, she was little. And she was a girl. And maybe – just maybe - the spider wasn’t tiny at all. So we can’t really blame her, right? I mean, we all have fears. Some of us are just afraid of things a little more, um, threatening, than spiders.
Although, honestly? I don’t know what those things could be. Really. I’d rather be trapped in my basement with a wild grizzly bear that hasn’t eaten in four days than with a spider.
I’m just saying.
Anyway, I’m here to let you in on a little secret. There is more to Little Miss M’s story than you’ve been led to believe. You thought it ended with her running away. But you may be surprised to learn what happened after the frightening.
Here is the rest of her story...
Little Miss Muffet
grabbed hold of her tuffet
and ran down the street with a shriek.
So afraid that the spider
would sneak up and bite her
she didn’t care that she looked like a freak.
Her home loomed ahead
and toward it she fled,
not stopping ‘til she was inside.
She bolted the door,
kept her eyes on the floor;
three hours there did she reside.
But as day turned to night
and not a spider in sight,
Miss Muffet began to relax.
She’d abandoned her dinner
for that Scary Web Spinner
so she got up to fix a few snacks.
A sudden sound at the door
startled her to the core
and she grabbed a sharp knife from the block.
Sweating and scared,
she quickly prepared
for possible death, due to shock.
Her brother burst in
with a big goofy grin
and said, “Would you look what I found!
On my way home from town,
my eyes they glanced down,
and I saw him so still on the ground.”
Miss M started shaking,
her knees sharply quaking,
and said, “get that thing out of here!
He’s ugly and scary
and ever so hairy.
Do you want me to die from pure fear?”
Despite Miss M’s cries
bro just rolled his eyes,
the spider held close to his sis.
“He’s not going to bite
see, he’s rather polite.
Come on, now, and give him a kiss.”
As she looked at the spider,
as it dangled beside her,
her heart did not fill with dread.
In fact, she surmised,
she was rather surprised
to find herself smiling instead.
This just goes to show
that you don’t always know
just when you’ll stare fear in the face.
What sometimes seems scary
or not ordinary
are things that we need to embrace.
Today that same spider
who sat down beside her
and made poor Miss Muffet to fret,
he freely does roam
on the walls of her home
And now is considered a pet.
So there it is. While I totally commend Miss Muffet for learning to overlook the ugliness, hairiness and downright digustingness of that spider, I have to admit the thought of having such a...creature...for a pet sends shivers down my spine and sends me reaching for the Raid or, at the very least, a heavy book.
I'm sure that Miss Muffet learning to face her fears is an inspiration to many. Maybe you’re one of them. But honestly? Little Miss M can keep the spiders. I think I'll stick with my cat, who does a marvelous job of controlling my home's pet spider population with one swift paw.
I'm just saying.
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