The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
04/24/08
You've chosen to show another "side" of life for this topic. This form of slavery is so tragic. I'm glad there is a Righteous Judge. You are a very gifted writer. I like how you progressed the story with the italic lines of thoughts and action. You've told this story seamlessly.
04/25/08
Oh, what an awesome entry. Your title is so very fitting.
Laury
04/25/08
I agree with everything Beth said above, and what a clever, clever title. This one definitely struck a nerve and made me think, and that is what a good writer is suppose to do.
04/25/08
Great story revealing an all too tragic story that keeps repeating itself throughout society. Great ending, as she rejoices at way in which true freedom comes.
04/26/08
What a description of emotions! Well done, I could feel the tension building. Great writing.
This was a very unique take on the topic. The descriptions of her nightly preparations was excellent, and I liked how you blended it in with the rest of the story.

I felt like the ending was predictable after you mentioned that she wished her real uncle would rescue her. However, that didn't stop this story from being an enjoyable read. I appreciate you sharing it. :)
04/28/08
Excellent! I loved being misled about the title--I'd assumed that with all of her preparations, the silver bracelets were part of her professional attire. Great aha! moment.
04/28/08
I'm a little slow—didn't connect the title to the end of the story. Now that the light has dawned, it was very clever. I kept wondering why she hadn't gone to her uncle for help before getting in so deeply with "Uncle." Well done.
04/28/08
I agree with Jan about the title - just THAT is masterful in itself, and the rest of the story is wonderfully told. Excellent.
04/28/08
Wow! Bad uncle..bad, bad uncle. What a story with our teeny tiny word allotment. Awesome stuff!
I didn't make the connection between the title and end of the story either! Very clever... and a great story.
I appreciate you leaving the safe subject going out into the real world. Well done! I too agree how perfect your title is for this piece.
04/29/08
What a sad story and so true for many women, as well as children. I like the way you ended the story, too.