Home Read What's New Join
My Account Login

Read Our Devotional             2016 Opportunities to be Published             Detailed Navigation

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge



how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level


submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners

Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.



how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Father (as in paternal parent, not God) (04/10/08)

TITLE: Father's Day ( Him and Me )
By Leigh MacKelvey


I remember Him when I was small.

Me so scrawny, Him, so tall.
Since I can only reach His knee
Iíll wait for Him to pick up Me

so I can hug His neck.

I knew that He could do no wrong.

He is My daddy soft and strong.
And should a lion come silently
He will surely rescue me

so I will hug His neck.

Such silly games with me heíd play.

Iím caught in His bear-trap every day.
Tickle me this, tickle me that,
then turn into a pussycat

so I can hug His neck

Heíd sing a song about a funny tree.

a bird -
with- a - feather
on -a- wing
on- a -flea

it grows in- a -hole- in- the- ground.

There wasnít much money, but I wasnít aware
'cause Heíd bring me surprises with the pennies to spare.

I love that tree-

I was so very proud of all He could do.

I want forever to dance on His shoes.
I burst with joy at belonging to Him.

But suddenly, I grew from limb to limb ...right out of that

Iíll play no more childish games
I wish to be pretty with movie-star fame.

Thereís not much else I seem to do well
so Iíll dream of the stage where I will excel.

At twelve, I was not pretty at all, certain for sure that no boy would call.

Iíll wait for the days when I will have dates
and Iíll never, ever come in late ...
So He will be proud of me.

My world at fifteen became Myself.

Iíll put Him neatly up on a shelf
and since now I know all
there is to know
I wonít need Him to help Me grow ...

He canít tell Me a Thing.

Four long years I just wouldnít see.

I donít know Him and
He doesnít know ME.
I want My life to be My own way

It doesnít matter,
He has no right to say ...

I wonít let Him tell Me a Thing.

And then one day I realized.

This world isnít quite real
through just My own eyes.
Iíll take Him neatly down from the shelf.
Iíll go to Him, alone by Myself ...

Iíll ask Him to tell Me a Thing

Though He didnít know, I heard all He would say and I sifted, sorted, made decisions that way. I know they werenít all He hoped they would be.

Iíll make them the best I can ... for Me.
Iím glad that He told me a Thing.

The day finally came, My dress was white. Through the darkened church flooded candlelight.

He stands just as tall as He has all my life,
but, oh, His hands tremble when he
whispers to Me that Iíll be a fine wife and

He is so proud of Me.

He gave Me away. Iíll always remember how I looked back at him when we left that September; and though I knew all was good and right ... I secretly shed some tears that night.

I miss that

Nineteen years I lived in His home. Today I live in a home of My own.
The seeds He gave Me ... in My children Iíve sown. Theyíre watered,

now flowered

now grown.

When Fatherís Day comes each year, I sit by my window wishing Him near.
Sometimes the Child still cries at night but Daddyís not there to turn on the light

and I wish I could hug His neck.

The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.

This article has been read 887 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Sheri Gordon04/17/08
I really like the varied format of this. Very unique.

My favorite part, as I read with tears in my eyes, is from when she turns 15 until she later realizes that her dad did, indeed, have wisdom to impart. Those few stanzas are a perfect description of life with a teenager.

Very good job with the topic.
Lynda Schultz 04/17/08
Beautiful. The form takes a little adjusting to, but that's part of what makes this more than just "ho-hum."
Jan Ackerson 04/18/08
Oh, lovely, lovely! I love the rhythm and swell of this, the crescendo and climax. So precious, and I suspect that few gals will be able to read this without a lump forming in the throat. *gulp*
Laury Hubrich 04/20/08
Nice job. Very nice. Very different. Good work!
Shirley McClay 04/21/08
I know nothing about verse so I won't comment there.. but I really enjoyed the unusually way this was written.. very creative and very sweet.
Sharlyn Guthrie04/21/08
You are blessed to have such wonderful memories tied to your father. Thanks for sharing them in such a lovely way.
Joanne Sher 04/22/08
Just lovely. Definitely got me choked up - love the repetition. Marvelously done.
Dee Yoder 04/22/08
Wonderful memories of a relationship all girls should have with their dads. Really beautiful.
Joshua Janoski04/23/08
I noticed that I could read the bold lines by themselves, and they alone formed their own story, but then I added in the rest of the lines, and it made the story that much more detailed. Very cool format!

I am not a poet, but I appreciate those who can write great poetry, and this is one of those great poems! Thank you so much for sharing. :)
Betty Castleberry04/23/08
This is so sweet and tender. You've captured the father-daughter relationship wonderfully in this poem, showing the progression of feelings a daughter usually has. I like this a lot.
Loren T. Lowery04/23/08
Three words come to mind reading this, tender, enduring and sweet. As I was reading it, too, it reminded me of something Mark Twain once said of his dad. It went something like this, "when I was 18 I couldn't believe how dumb my father was; and, when I reached 20 I couldn't believe how much he had learned in two short years."
Debbie Wistrom04/23/08
So fresh and telling, there is much here to consider. Thanks for giving this to us.
Sara Harricharan 04/23/08
Leigh, this is precious! It is so bittersweet, and heartfelt at the same time. I loved the imagery you painted with the silly song and especially how you used the lines in bold. That made them stand out and this flowed so very well. ^_^ I'm glad I didn't miss this-it was great!
LaNaye Perkins04/23/08
I loved the varied format of this too. My favorite part was:
When Fatherís Day comes each year, I sit by my window wishing Him near.
Sometimes the Child still cries at night but Daddyís not there to turn on the light

and I wish I could hug His neck.

That part made me cry. It reminded me of how I feel about my own dad.